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The Word A young monk arrives at the monastery. He is assigned to helping the other monks in copying the old canons and laws of the church, by hand. He notices, however, that all of the monks are copying from copies, not from the original manuscript. So, the new monk goes to the Old Abbot to...

The Ostrich A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him. The waitress asks them for their orders. The man says, "A hamburger, fries and a coke," and turns to the ostrich, "What's yours?" "I'll have the same," says the ostrich. A short time later the waitress returns...

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Cricket Bat used to be a good deterrent

The psychology of 'obvious' signage. Didn't work with Smoking did it?

And how much has Air Miles Albo and hi bint cost taxpayers along with the rest of the hangers on?

My pal’s wife came home with four cases of beer, three boxes of wine, two bottles of whisky and two loaves of bread. "Are we expecting guests?" he asked. "No," she replied. "Then why did you buy so much bread?

L Ron

I couldn't sleep last night, and then it dawned on me

Leather is "rated" based on its texture. Cows with abundant water sources typically have softer hides, Rated "A", While hides from cows living in hot, dry climates Are typically "D" Hide-Rated.

My mate, a keen golfer, revealed that our local semi-pro golf club is looking for a new treasurer. I asked him, “Didn't you just hire a new one last month. He replied, “Yea, that's the bastard we are looking for”

What do you get if you cross a pigeon and a parrot? Voicemail

Wife sent me a text yesterday saying she was in Casualty. When I got home last night I watched all 60 minutes of it - never saw her once She still hasn’t come home yet and I’m bloody starving!!!!!

i was Christmas shopping a few years ago and saw a brass band next to the cake shop, who were dribbling from their instruments. It turns out it was the salivation army.

He's Not A Bitter Man For It?

My mate is always doing daft things. Yesterday he pulled out a nose hair just to see if it hurt. He said, “Judging by the reaction of the bloke asleep next to me on the bus, It’s pretty bloody painful.

Had a dream last night where there was a load of large dogs in uniform playing musical instruments & singing in the town centre. Someone told me that it was the Alsatian Army……..