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Dennis R's Morning Joke. Last week my next- door Neighbour asked me, seeing as our houses were the same design, can I ask our many rolls of wallpaper did you buy for the living room? I said 13, today he came round looking very angry, he said I have 3 rolls left over, I said so do I.

Dennis R's Morning Joke. What do you call a messy cat? Kitty litter.

Dennis R's Afternoon Joke. Doctor Doctor, I keep thinking I am a doorknob Now don't fly of the handle.

Dennis R's Afternoon Joke. For his birthday little Patrick asked his father if he could have a 10 speed bicycle, His father said son we would give you one but the mortgage on this house is 8o,ooo pounds and your mother as just lost her job there is no way we can afford it, the next day the...

Dennis R's Morning Joke. Knock-Knock, Whose there? Bella, Bella Who? Bella bottom trousers.

Dennis R's Afternoon Joke. Two cannibals meet one day. the first cannibal says you know I cannot seem to get any tender Missionaries nowadays, I have baked them, roasted them, I have stewed them and have used every kind of marinate, but I just cannot seem to get them tender, the second...

Dennis R's Morning Joke. This joke is a bit cheeky so beware. Upon hearing that her elderly grandfather had passed awa, Katie went straight away to her grandparents' home to visit her 95- year- old grandmother and to comfort her, when she asked how her grandfather had died, her...

Dennis R's Afternoon Joke. Where can you always find a helping hand? At the end of your arm.

Dennis R's Morning Joke, Father Murphy walks into a pub in Donegall and asks the first man he meets, do you want to go to heaven? yes father I do said the man, then stand against the wall said the Priest, then he asks the second man the same question gets the same answer and tells him to...

Dennis R's Afternoon Joke. You are so dumb it takes you an hour to cook one-minute noodles.

Dennis R's Morning Joke. What kind of cat shouldn't you play cards with? A Chettah.

Dennis R's Morning Joke. Doctor Doctor, I am at deaths door, do not worry I will pull you through.

Dennis R's Afternoon Joke, A very pretty Speech therapist was getting nowhere with her stammers action group, she had tried every technique in the books, fin but the stammers and stutters still carried on, finally Toatley exasperated, she said if any of you can tell me where you were born...

Dennis R's Morning Joke. Two drunken Irishmen in a graveyard, Paddy starts to read the grave stones, Mike he said look at this, a fellow here was 90 when he died, who was that said Mike? Paddy says, somebody named Toole from Kerry, never mind says Paddy, there is one here called Murphy who...

Dennis R's Afternoon Joke. This 89 year old woman had been arrested for shop lifting, when she went before the Judge, he asked her what she had stolen, she replied a tin of peaches, the judge asked her why she had stolen them, she replied that she was hungry, the judge asked our many...

Time for blond ladies to get their own back, Finally, Blond men's jokes. The blond man is in the bathroom his wife shouts did you find the shampoo? he says yes but I am not sure what to do, it says for dry hair, and I have just wet mine. A blond man spots a letter on his door mat it says on...

Dennis R's afternoon Joke. Dorothy said to her friend each year I send my grandchildren a card with a generous cheque inside, I never hear from them or get a thank you message, her friend Ruth said I also do the same and within a week of them receiving them I get an answer, in fact all of...

Dennis R's Morning Joke. I wish I could type faster with these longer jokes. Back in the woods a redneck's wife was expecting a baby, she went into labour in the middle of the night, and the doctor was called out to help with the delivery, as there was no electricity in the house the Docter...

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Dennis R's Morning Joke. A man was having drink at the bar and when he looks around, he notices a drunk guy passed out at a table nearby, the barmen said he was Mr. Murphy and asked the man if he could take him home, being a good Samaritan the man agrees, and the barman gives him Mr...