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Seniors An elderly woman walked into the store to buy some cat food. She picked up three cans, but when she reached the cashier, she was stopped. "I'm sorry," the cashier said, "but we can’t sell this to you unless you prove you have a cat. Some seniors have been buying cat food for...

Seductive Wife With a very seductive voice the woman asked her husband, “Have you ever seen a twenty dollar note all crumpled up?” “No,” said her husband. She gave him a sexy little smile, unbuttoned the top 3 or 4 buttons of her blouse, and slowly reached down into the cleavage created by a...

Might be waiting a long time old boy! Ha ha

Samurai skill Once upon a time, a powerful Emperor of the Rising Sun advertised for a new Chief Samurai. After a year, only three applied for the job: a Japanese, a Chinese, and a Jewish Samurai. "Demonstrate your skills!" commanded the Emperor. The Japanese samurai stepped forward, opened...

Hunting rules Hunting A father takes his son hunting for the first time. 🦌 He tells him, “Stay here and be very quiet. I’ll be across the field.” 🤫 A few hours later, the dad hears a blood-curdling scream! 😱 He runs back, shouting, “WHAT HAPPENED?! I told you to stay QUIET!” The boy, trying...

I saw Henri Szeps at a stand up routine. He said his role as the big brother dentist son on Mother and Son left people thinking he was a real dentist. Once when visiting his very aged mother with no teeth at her nursing home, a fellow resident screamed at him that he was a worthless son for...

https://www.myagedcare.gov.au/ will help

What drink was it?

Thirsty Arab An Arab was walking through the Sahara desert, desperate for water, when he saw something, far off in the distance. Hoping to find water, he walked towards the image, only to find Hymie sitting at a card table with a bunch of ties laid out on it. The Arab asked "Please, I'm dying...

Here comes the bride Not to be inconvenienced . . . Miriam the bride goes down the aisle and reaches the altar. There, standing in front of her, as he should be, is Daniel her future husband. But you can imagine what a shock Miriam gets when she sees that Daniel is standing there with his golf...

A SHOEY,

Thank you! Hopefully many will be encouraged to undergo this simple lifesaving procedure.

Murder The judge says to Mr. Hockenkop a double-homicide defendant, "Mr. Hockenkop you're charged with doing away with your wife with a hammer." A voice at the back of the courtroom yells out, "You rotten good for nothing" The judge says, "You're also charged with doing away with your...

Liar A FAMILIAR PARABLE Once, many years ago, a nine year old boy named Yossi was playing in the yard behind the barn. While running around, he somehow managed to knock over the outhouse. �Yossi was upset and worried that he would get into trouble, so he ran into the woods and didn’t return...

Very clever

Old age The very wise Rabbi Levine . . . Two elderly ladies, Miriam and Naomi, meet for the first time for many, many years and decide to catch up on things over a coffee and a bagel at Minky’s Kosher Snacks. "So, Miriam," says Naomi, "it’s been a long time. How have you been getting on?"...

Retired

Very good

Anti theft

Job application Hannah goes to The Minky Farm and asks Henry, the manager, if there are any vacancies available at the farm. Henry tells her that the only job available is for a part-time lemon picker. Hannah says the job would suit her well. After Henry has asked her some questions about her...