I know that feeling of despair and depression and truly feel for you. Been down thar road, but a bit differently. Bowel Cancer diagnosed in 1986 with sub- total surgery. Reappeared 1991and had total removal. I refused Chemo and radiation and still "on top of the Turf". I enjoy life. Look for all...
I was the "Sover" guy at the local Drive In. You know, when the show was over, went around to the Cars that were left , banged on the roof and called out " S"over" folks "Go home" !!!
In the very Hot afternoons in Perth Summer, Mother would make Sandwiches for Tea to be eaten on a large Blanket in the shade of a Huge Gum tree in our back yard. We grew a lot of Vegetables and had Chickens, so.... Tomato Onion and Cheese and Lamb (cold from the Sunday Roast) with Chutney..Yum...