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Of course it never seems to occur to the jobsworths just how expensive it is to take it to a tip or heaven forbid a Recycling Tip and the exceptions of what they take in?

A Soldier Approached A Nun A soldier approached a nun Out of breath he asked, “Please, may I hide under your skirt. I’ll explain later.” The nun agreed… A moment later two Military Police ran up and asked, “Sister, have you seen a soldier?” The nun replied, “He went that way.” After the MPs...

You Look Exactly Like Her A serious drunk walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her and kissed her. She jumped up and slapped him silly. He immediately apologized and explained, “I’m sorry. I thought you were my wife. You look...

Jerks Of The Highway A man was in a hurry to meet his friend down at the nearby lake. On the way down there, he was stopped by a man fully dressed in red. The man pulled over, and the red man asked, “Hi, I’m the red jerk of the highway. Have anything to eat?” The man smiled and handed him a...

Blind Firemen A priest, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, “What’s with those guys? We must have been waiting for fifteen minutes!” The doctor chimed in, “I don’t know, but I’ve never seen such inept golf!” The...

Train in a Tunnel An old English gentleman, a handsome young Frenchman, an old lady and a beautiful young blonde are traveling in the same compartment of a train. The train passes through a tunnel and the compartment is thrown into complete dark. A sound of kiss followed by a loud slap are...

10 X 10......Couple of answers I pulled out of my arse, but A Big Bravo some new material?

Secluded

Isolated

I used to have a sleep mask, but was usually to be half cut so had no problem sleeping.

Want to protect your brain? Here's how much red meat experts say you should eat. I wish the government improved aged pensions so that we could afford to buy the bastard?

I don't give a Goddamn for other countries, I will say it was the Labour Party that stuffed Victoria under that Wanker poxy Dan Andrews. Our great great great grand will still of his debts bastard arsehole.

Lucky he wasn't run over by the Zamboni.

Five minutes On an airplane, I overheard a stewardess talking to an elderly couple in front of me. Learning that it was the couple’s 50th wedding anniversary, the flight attendant congratulated them and asked how they had done it. “It all felt like five minutes…” the gentleman said slowly...

Three Vampires The first vampire tells the other 2 “Hey! I have an idea! Let’s have a competition between the three of us to see who is the best at sucking blood!” Since they have nothing to else to do, the other two vampires think it is a good idea and agree to the competition. After that...

Your Dress’s Blowing Up Old lady on a cruise… The old lady was standing at the railing of the cruise ship holding her hat on tight so that it would not blow off in the wind. A gentleman approached her and said: “Pardon me, madam. I do not intend to be forward, but did you know that your...

YUPPIE, DINK And WIFE Two guys and a girl were sitting at a bar talking about their lives. The one guy said, “I’m a YUPPIE. You know, Young Urban Professional.” The second guy responded, “I’m a DINK. You know, Double Income No Kids.” They then asked the woman, “What are you?” She replied...

Email and Internet An unemployed man is desperate to support his family of a wife and three kids. He applies for a janitor’s job at a large firm and easily passes an aptitude test. The human resources manager tells him, “You will be hired at minimum wage of $5.35 an hour. Let me have your...

Proverbs A first grade teacher collected well-known proverbs. She gave each kid in the class the first half of the proverb, and asked them to fill in the rest. Here’s what the kids came up with: Better to be safe than… punch a 5th grader. Strike while the… bug is close. It’s always darkest...