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Only in that was a ploy by the Labour Party meant to ultimately replace the aged pension. In that you funded your own retirement.

Thats the card the missus gave me.

Clean sweep, but notice starting to slip back.

Who voted for the little shit? nobody seems to want to own up,

Laughter

I was visiting my daughter and son in law the other night when I asked if I could borrow a newspaper. My know it all son in law sarcastically laughed and said. "this is the 21st century, we don't waste money on newspapers, here you can use my laptop" I can tell you now, that bloody fly didn't...

Free Medicinal drugs for Turd Burglars?

And now he's trying to do to the country, what some moosh did to his mother?

We can't compete with the wages paid overseas, even some Chinese shite shopping are having their wares being made in other countries because of the wages creep/

Retired man's job Someone asked me, "and now that you are retired, do you still have a job?" I replied, "Yes I am my wife's sexual adviser." Somewhat shocked, they said "I beg your pardon, but what do you mean by that." "Very simple. My wife has told me that when she wants my fucking...

Trumpet

Senator

The Grateful Leprechaun A golfer playing in Ireland hooked his drive into the woods. Looking for his ball, he found a little Leprechaun flat on his back, a big bump on his head and the golfer's ball beside him. Horrified, the golfer got his water bottle from the cart and poured it over the...

A Pope in Heaven Some decades ago, the Pope had died and arrived at Heaven's Gate. Sitting there, he spots St. Peter and waves at him. The bemused St. Peter asked who he was. The Pope excitedly exclaimed he was the representative of God on Earth. St. Peter seemed confused, as he had seemingly...

A Religious Skinny Dip A rabbi and a priest went for a walk in the park, and strolled by a large lake. Suddenly the rabbi said: "Let's go in and do some 'baptism', the water looks really clear!" "But we don't have swimsuits" the priest told him. "So what?" replied the rabbi, "Let's go into...

The Obsessive Counter It was Christmas morning and an old man was enjoying opening presents with his family but every time he opens a present, he checks to be sure that everything is there… “Great, 4 steak knives. 1, 2, 3 and 4!” “A dozen wrenches? Brilliant! 1, 2, 3, 4….10, 11 and 12! “Four...

Wrong Side of Bed A nun, sister Sarah, wakes up one morning feeling great, she gets out of bed and decides to go to the kitchen for some breakfast. On her way over there she runs into sister Jane and she says, "Hi sister Jane," to which sister Jane answers, "I see you got off on the wrong...

So Long, Preacher A priest is told by the bishop he is being moved to a new parish The priest tells the congregation the news and after the service a woman comes up to him crying: "This is terrible news father, just terrible. You can't leave us. Refuse the move, tell the bishop to find...

Haste is the Devil God was giving out traits to Adam and Eve. He had two left and decided to ask their preference. He said, “So I have two things left for you both. The first is peeing while standing up…” Adam jumped up and said, “Me! Me! I want to pee standing up! Then I can just pee...