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Welcome Mohamed!! :D What do you do for a living?

Welcome Bob!! That's awesome :D Do you play any football yourself or is that out of the question in retirement?

Welcome @Zig Zag :D We're happy to have you. What is your favourite segment in the newsletter?

@Morrihen Welcome Judi :D You are super blessed. I'm sure you're glad you didn't have to work through the pandemic. How do you spend your time nowadays?

@mylittletibbies Welcome Trish! That is a crazy awesome hobby. It's always been an aspiration of mine. I'd like to start small though and flip some furniture first. I'd love to see some befores and afters if you have any :D

My local public swimming pool had a big sign on the wall. It said: “Welcome To Our OOL. Notice there no ‘P’ in it? Let’s keep it that way.” I always thought it was a pity that they never had a sign that said “Welcome To Our L …”

The roof job Two Roofers, Bob and Dan, were putting a new roof on a barn when a bundle of shingles slid down the slope and knocked the ladder over. Bob and Dan decided since it was early they would continue working because someone would surely come around by quitting time. It was nearing 5 PM...

A little old lady gets arrested for stealing a can of peaches from a grocery store. At the trial, the judge asks her why she stole a can of peaches. She replies, "Your Honour, my husband and I don't have much, and we are very poor. I was simply trying to do something about my hunger." The...

A psychic just told me I'd go through an unbelievable pain in 12 years To cheer myself up, I bought a puppy!

What do you call someone who is scared of Santas? Claustrophobic

Cheapest Pub in the World Guy walks into a pub and asks the bar man for a pint; ‟That will be $0.05 please sir”. ‟Wow, in that case I will have a shot of whisky too” ‟Certainly, that will be $0.03 sir”. ‟Damnnn, OK and a packet of crisps”. ‟0.01 please sir, $0.08 all together”. >‟This is...

A guy just finishes his lasik surgery and his surgeon leads him in his office to discuss the surgery... The surgeon asks if he wants the good news or bad news first. The man excitedly replies, "I'll take the good news first." The surgeon tells him, "well you're about to get a new dog."

Hi Members! This was a tough one, ey? Can't say I would've gotten it right myself. So SUPER well done to the following people: @Big Al @Helen171 @Lorrie @Joyem @Dougal @Roh @Agnes @KaraJenna @Ricci @Alan W @Julia TH @O'Rourke @reggiesmum2 @thomas @Scotty89 @Veraw @Jan A...

Hello Everyone! This one was really simple it seems ;) We had so many correct answers. Well done to the following people: @4539 @Jan A @Abinme @rona @Helen171 @Joyem @Big Al @Buddy20 @Brennief @Suemalloo @Red Gem @JayKay @Big Jim @Caryl @Stewart @Carmel @Chez1611 @Susan V...

A Russian, a Frenchman, and an Englishman are in an art museum admiring a painting of Adam and Eve in the gardens of Eden. The Englishman takes a look at the painting and says "They look so calm, they must be British!" The Frenchmen responds "no no! They're naked, so beautiful, they must be...

I gave my wife $10,000 to get plastic surgery Last week she took the money, got the surgery and ran away. So not only am i down 10 grand, i don't know who to look for.

I thought it was romantic to secretly swap my girlfriend's backpack for a bag of roses. Her skydiving instructor didn't.

A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and sadly said, "I'm sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has passed away." The distressed woman...

A young woman was taking golf lessons and had just started playing her first round of golf when she suffered a bee sting Her pain was so intense that she decided to return to the clubhouse for medical assistance. The golf pro saw her heading back and said, “You are back early, what’s wrong?” “I...

A man and a golf club walk into a bar. The golf club asks for a drink but the man refuses. When the golf club asked why, the man replied, "Because you'll be driving later."