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When I asked the tattoo artist to cover my arms with flames, they refused. I don't have a firearms permit.

A Man goes to see the rabbi A man goes to see the Rabbi. “Rabbi, something terrible is happening and I have to talk to you about it.” The Rabbi asked, “What”s wrong?” The man replied, “My wife is poisoning me.” The Rabbi, very surprised by this, asks, “How can that be?” The man then...

Why are graveyards noisy? Because of all of the coffin!

What do you call Napoleon hit by a cannonball? Napoleon Blown Apart.

An atheist is hiking in the woods... So an atheist is hiking in the woods when he stumbles across a huge hungry grizzly bear. The bear rears up to full height and gives a roar as it leans in toward the man. The atheist screams in terror "Oh God, help me!!!" Suddenly, everything--> the bear, the...

My Tinder bio says that I have a corner office with views of the entire city, drive a $500,000 vehicle, and that I'm paid to travel. My dates never seem too happy when I tell them I'm a bus driver.

I asked my wife if she wanted to renew our wedding vows for our anniversary. She said "two wrongs don't make a right."

A vegan said to me that people who sell meat are disgusting. I said people who sell fruit and vegetables are grocer.

When I’m feeling down my friend keeps saying ‘Cheer up, you could be stuck in a big fish, like Jonah!’ I know he means whale.

I recently heard that turkeys aren't allowed to play baseball. No matter how many times they hit, they'll always hit fowl balls.

Hi Members! I hope you're all having a wonderful weekend :D This was quite an easy one, so I was a bit strict about the answers I accepted. Well done to the following folks: @Jan A @Maiyon @simongirl @Galeforce @Hemiman265 @Carosharp @Andrew @Gus @Luckyus @margaretritchie48@hotmail...

I was gambling with a farmer last week and apparently had a really good hand, so good to the point that he bet his livelihood, all 397 of his cattle. He really raised the steaks

A couple who were making wedding preparations die in a traffic accident. When they arrive at heaven, the man finds an angel and explains the situation, asking if they could arrange a wedding in heaven or not. -Let me have a look, the angel says. After a few months, it comes back to the couple...

On Earth we get hemorrhoids... In space they get assteroids.

Frosty the snowman was spotted at the local grocery store He was caught picking his nose in the produce section

Hello Everybody! I thought this was a tough one but it turns out that you all are just too good at this 😂 Well done the following people who got the correct answer: @Jan A @Big G @simongirl @zevon1956 @Blummo @GF @Noraya @BJM @PensionClub @Stewart @Marj53 @SandyM @Robbo128 @Shaken...

Goooood morning Members! Whew! We've been having some toughies lately. We had some very interesting attempts at this one, but it was only the following members who got the correct answer :D @mitchell55 @Groovy @Big Al @Jennylolo @Jan FWF @Chez1611 @SandyW @Rosie @Joyem @Hemiman265...

Let's Write a Limerick! Hi everyone! We'd love to have a go at writing a limerick as a group :D You'll need to post the next line that will follow the last comment in the thread. Here are the basic rules: 5 lines Lines 1, 2 and 5 rhyme. Lines 3 and 4 rhyme Distinctive rhythm Usually funny...

@WinnieGirl Welcome Lee :D:D Please tell us about yourself :) How have you been spending your retirement?

@JBathy Welcome Judit! You can find the ebook here: https://sdc-ebook.s3.ap-southeast-2.amazonaws.com/Seniors+Discount+Club+eBook+2022.pdf Please tell us a bit more about yourself :)