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Dennis R's Afternoon Joke. Knock - Knock Whose there? Wooden shoe Wooden shoe who? Wooden shoe like to know.

I groan every morning when I am getting out of bed, Think I could do with an electric winch to make it easier, and then I think about the electric bill.

I shop at Aldi, I keep an exercise book and anything bought for the first time is entered into the book with the price, I make my shopping list out and for each article wanted write down the last price paid, to be on the safe side I add another $20, this gives me an idea of what my bill will be...

Dennis R's Afternoon Joke, Doctor- Doctor I keep thinking I am a fruit cake. What's got into you? Flour, raisins, and cherries.

I will have to pass this on to my gardener.

Dennis R's Morning Pun, What did one tonsil say to the other tonsil? Get dressed up, the doctor is taking us out.

A carer from ECH my age carers take me to Aldi fortnightly and I go to the local shops once a week on my mobility scooter.

Here is another of my poems dedicated to all our members. FIFTY SHADES OF GRAY High and mighty we still stand In this great Australian land We are members of the grey brigade Some with false teeth and hearing aid Every day a gift...

How about adding a walking stick. Dennis R's Morning Pun. What sort of star is dangerous? A shooting star.

Have seen this somewhere before but a goodie, should have gone to Sec Savers.

A sensible reply for a blond.

Dennis R's Morning Pun. Why did the bungy jumper take a vacation? Because he was at the end of his rope.

Dennis R's Afternoon Joke. What's the difference between a unicorn and a lettuce? One is a funny beast and the other a bunny feast.

Dennis R's Morning Pun. What happened to the snake who had a cold? She adder viper nose.

Well, we have to have a change to afternoon jokes, my afternoon joke book as reached the xmas section so we will be breaking into the morning section to keep you happy. What did the porcupine say to the cactus? Are you my mother?

Dennis R's Morning Pun, Knock Knock Who' there? Amy. Amy who? Army and you still good friends?

Still use my land line, set up so the operator asks who is calling and asks me if I want to speak to them, it is amazing how many put the phone down when asked who is calling.

Dennis R's Afternoon Joke When you die, the last part of your body to stop working is your pupils. They dilate.