Ever noticed that sourdough is always fully stocked? One man thinks he’s figured out why
- Replies 17
A man has made a bold claim that’s left thousands equal parts baffled and amused.
He says he’s never seen anyone buy Coles’ artisan bread—and he’s starting to think it’s a glitch in the matrix.
And now, his bizarre theory is sparking a social media frenzy.
Brian kicked off his now-viral post in a popular ‘Coles Complaints’ group with a confession:‘I have been scared to post this, because people are going to make fun of me or say I’m crazy, but I’ve thought something for years and I want to see if it’s just me...’
He then suggested something truly strange—Coles’ specialty bread might not be real at all.
‘All of the artisan and specialty breads at grocery stores are PROOF we are actually living in a simulation,’ he wrote.
The post quickly gained attention, as Brian explained he’d never seen anyone actually buy the bread.
‘Nobody buys this bread. Ever,’ he said.
‘I’ve never seen it in someone’s trolley, never seen someone checking out with a massive red pepper asiago loaf the size of a basketball.’
‘In all my years I’ve never walked into a friend’s home and been offered a baguette or a fresh slice of focaccia.’
‘I’ve never even heard of a “Sourdough Boule” and respectfully, I am not sure they even exist.’
He insisted that the bread was ‘just there’—untouched, unbought, uneaten.
‘The bread is a decoration. The bread is a simulation.’
Brian’s display picture, which showed him wearing a virtual reality headset, only added fuel to the fire.
‘Are you wearing that to the supermarket, Brian?’ the article quipped.
‘If so, you might be the only one living in a simulation…’
But not everyone agreed with the conspiracy.
‘WTF are you on ??’ asked one baffled commenter.
Others claimed the exact opposite was true.
‘I buy it… My Coles never even has close to that quantity. In fact, I often leave with nothing because there is nothing left,’ one user responded.
‘I love buying the boujee bread from Coles. $2.50 for a beautiful olive loaf that the bakeries sell for $8. No thanks,’ wrote another.
Several people even came forward to vouch for the bread’s existence and popularity.
‘My son bakes bread at Coles,’ one said.
‘I’m an ex-employee, and I can tell you, there are definitely people who bake that bread. A lot of it,’ added another.
Others speculated that Brian may simply be shopping too early in the day.
‘OMG, are you serious? Are you only shopping at 7 am? Go in at 6 pm and take the same photo so we can see the difference!’ someone urged.
While Brian's theory might not hold up under scrutiny, it's certainly gotten people talking about the humble Coles bakery.
If Brian’s theory about the untouched Coles bread made you do a double take, he’s not the only one asking questions.
Another shopper shared a similarly strange observation that left people scratching their heads—and firing off blunt responses.
It’s a short read, but one that adds even more mystery to what’s really going on in the supermarket bakery aisle.
Read more: Coles shopper shares one intriguing theory about the store's bakery section: 'What the f*** are you on?'
Have you ever seen anyone actually buy Coles’ artisan bread—or could Brian be onto something?
He says he’s never seen anyone buy Coles’ artisan bread—and he’s starting to think it’s a glitch in the matrix.
And now, his bizarre theory is sparking a social media frenzy.
Brian kicked off his now-viral post in a popular ‘Coles Complaints’ group with a confession:‘I have been scared to post this, because people are going to make fun of me or say I’m crazy, but I’ve thought something for years and I want to see if it’s just me...’
He then suggested something truly strange—Coles’ specialty bread might not be real at all.
‘All of the artisan and specialty breads at grocery stores are PROOF we are actually living in a simulation,’ he wrote.
Coles shopper sparks simulation theory over bread. Image source: Facebook
The post quickly gained attention, as Brian explained he’d never seen anyone actually buy the bread.
‘Nobody buys this bread. Ever,’ he said.
‘I’ve never seen it in someone’s trolley, never seen someone checking out with a massive red pepper asiago loaf the size of a basketball.’
‘In all my years I’ve never walked into a friend’s home and been offered a baguette or a fresh slice of focaccia.’
‘I’ve never even heard of a “Sourdough Boule” and respectfully, I am not sure they even exist.’
He insisted that the bread was ‘just there’—untouched, unbought, uneaten.
‘The bread is a decoration. The bread is a simulation.’
Brian’s display picture, which showed him wearing a virtual reality headset, only added fuel to the fire.
‘Are you wearing that to the supermarket, Brian?’ the article quipped.
‘If so, you might be the only one living in a simulation…’
But not everyone agreed with the conspiracy.
‘WTF are you on ??’ asked one baffled commenter.
Others claimed the exact opposite was true.
‘I buy it… My Coles never even has close to that quantity. In fact, I often leave with nothing because there is nothing left,’ one user responded.
‘I love buying the boujee bread from Coles. $2.50 for a beautiful olive loaf that the bakeries sell for $8. No thanks,’ wrote another.
Several people even came forward to vouch for the bread’s existence and popularity.
‘My son bakes bread at Coles,’ one said.
‘I’m an ex-employee, and I can tell you, there are definitely people who bake that bread. A lot of it,’ added another.
Others speculated that Brian may simply be shopping too early in the day.
‘OMG, are you serious? Are you only shopping at 7 am? Go in at 6 pm and take the same photo so we can see the difference!’ someone urged.
While Brian's theory might not hold up under scrutiny, it's certainly gotten people talking about the humble Coles bakery.
If Brian’s theory about the untouched Coles bread made you do a double take, he’s not the only one asking questions.
Another shopper shared a similarly strange observation that left people scratching their heads—and firing off blunt responses.
It’s a short read, but one that adds even more mystery to what’s really going on in the supermarket bakery aisle.
Read more: Coles shopper shares one intriguing theory about the store's bakery section: 'What the f*** are you on?'
Have you ever seen anyone actually buy Coles’ artisan bread—or could Brian be onto something?
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