Grieving mother slams Centrelink’s ‘unfair’ rule: ‘It's very wrong’

The pain of losing a child is unimaginable, and the grief that follows is a burden no parent should have to bear alone.

Yet, for Patty van Duijn, an Adelaide mother, the heartbreak was compounded by a Centrelink rule that she describes as 'absolutely disgusting’.



Patty was over 19 weeks into her pregnancy when she faced the devastating reality of terminating her pregnancy due to complications.

The loss of her son Mason was a profound trauma, one that was followed by the physical and emotional ordeal of giving birth to a stillborn child.


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Patty criticised Centrelink’s ‘disgusting’ rule. Image source: Shutterstock



But when she sought financial support from Centrelink to help her through this difficult time, she was met with a disappointing response.

Centrelink's Stillborn Baby Payment, a one-off lump sum of $4,059.17 designed to assist grieving parents, requires a gestation period of at least 20 weeks or a birth weight of at least 400 grams.

Mason, at 230 grams and just six days shy of the 20-week mark, did not meet these criteria.

As a result, Patty was deemed ineligible for the payment, forcing her to consider returning to her hospitality job less than two weeks after her loss.



She shared the emotional ordeal to a media outlet, saying, ‘I'm still going through this whole process of giving birth and holding a baby that's not alive. It's very traumatic and really hard, but now I have to think about going back to work.’

Patty criticised the rule as ‘absolutely disgusting’ and shared that it is ‘unfair’ she had undergone similar trauma and grief but was not able to access the help available to mothers in her situation.

‘It shouldn't matter how big or small or how long... it's my baby with arms, ten toes, fingers,’ she said.

‘I'm just unsure of who made this decision, and if they actually know what people go through, but a week shouldn't be a difference because it's still the experience, the trauma and everything that comes with it,’ Patty added.

It is understood that the Department of Social Services set the policy, and while Centrelink cannot grant leniency based on individual circumstances, they have stated that a representative will contact her to explore other supports available.



A spokesperson from the Department of Social Services stated, ‘the Australian Government recognises the tragic loss and trauma of miscarriage.’

‘While a medical professional must certify a stillborn child was delivered for families to receive Stillborn Baby Payment, other supports are available through Services Australia including counselling and support to connect with local services.’

‘And depending on an individual's circumstances and employment, they may also be entitled to paid or unpaid leave following a miscarriage,’ they added.

Patty's situation is further complicated by her medical history of Inflammatory Bowel Disease (IBD), which contributed to the complications in her pregnancy.

With her partner Lee Simpson working as a chef, the couple is struggling to make ends meet on his salary alone. The emotional toll is immense, and the financial pressure only adds to their distress.



‘It's only been a week and a half and now I have to think about going back to work because we can't afford to pay bills and rent if I don't work,’ she shared.

In response to her situation, Patty has taken action by setting up a GoFundMe page, not only to seek support for herself and Lee but also to raise awareness and advocate for change in the policy.

She hopes that by sharing her story, she can prevent other families from enduring the same hardship.

‘It's very wrong,’ she argued. ‘I want it to be looked into, not for us now, it's too late, but for other people going through this, so they don't have to go through what I am right now.’
Key Takeaways
  • Patty van Duijn from Adelaide experienced the loss of her baby at over 19 weeks but couldn't access Centrelink's Stillborn Baby Payment because she was six days short of the required 20-week gestation period.
  • Centrelink defines a stillborn child as one who has reached at least 20 weeks' gestation or weighs at least 400 grams at birth; Patty's baby weighed 230 grams.
  • Patty criticised the rule as 'absolutely disgusting' and unfair for not considering the trauma and grief experienced by mothers in her situation.
  • Despite her circumstances, Patty has received no leniency from Centrelink, with the Department of Social Services stating other supports are available, and she is now calling for a change to the rule to help others in her position.
Our thoughts and prayers go to Patty and her husband during this difficult time.

What do you think about Centrelink’s Stillborn Baby Payment criteria, members? Share your thoughts in the comments below.
 
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Thank you. Some people just have no idea
I am carer for both my husband and daughter. I spend half my life on the road taking one or the other to appointments.
As I live in the country these are long trips.
Last week alone I had appointments every day which involved round trips of 5 hours,
4 hours, 2 X 3 hours and then another 5 hours.
At 77 years of age, the carer payment is the same as the age pension, so really I only get the extra allowance which gets chewed up on petrol expenses.
People just do not realise how much money carers save the government.
I do worry how much longer I will be able to do this myself.
I have been my daughter's carer for 47 years, during this time as well as her disability the por girl has had three major operations for cancer.
Last year my husband almost died and has aged 10 to 15 years virtually overnight and now needs full time care.
However, it is what it is and I shall just carry on, but it is very annoying when ignorant people denigrate carers.
Sorry for the rant, I'll go back to bed and get out the other side, lol 🤣
Not a rant it’s good to talk about it to people like me and others on here who do care. I think your doing a wonderful job and you should be so proud of yourself.😊
 
mylittletibbies I know your struggle. My daughter has a seriously disabled child. It's a 24/7 job, with no respite. And it's hard work. Compound the physical strain of caring with the mental pain of seeing your child suffer and being unable to give them the life you want for them, and having to worry endlessly about who would care for them if your health failed or you suffered an injury, or - heaven forbid - passed away!

I would love to see carer payments increased substantially. Carers need and deserve much more And that is why I am so angry with this greedy childless person from a two-income family, with a husband working in a trade and therefore receiving well above basic wages, whining about the government not giving her money for the loss of an unborn child at less than mid-term. She does NOT need that money.

Perhaps she should stop for a moment and consider what her life might have been like if she had carried Mason to term and he had been born with a serious disability. Then she would find out what a REAL financial struggle is, and how it feels to grieve every single day, loving your child deeply but struggling with the physical burden of care and dealing with the enormous emotional pain of knowing you can never see them enjoying the life you envisaged for them.

Kudos to you for dedicating so many years to caring for your daughter. She is very fortunate to have such a strong and dedicated mother. And our society should do much more to recognize the valuable contribution you and other carers make and to assist you in every possible way.
 
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Why would she want a baby if she could not afford to look after it once born. I don't know her or his circumstances but surely you would not bring a baby into the world if you could not afford it or look after it as she said her finances would not allow her to have time off, with or without a baby. If she did have time off what about Day Care Costs, nappies, baby food, she can't afford the Bills on one wage, there is something that does not seem right. I really feel for her for the loss of a child and I cant imagine how that feels never going through it, but i do have a daughter and daughter inlaw that have been through it. I pray that she will get back on her feet and down the track give birth to a child that will give her the joy she so deeply wants.
I agree with you about her finances. Why would you bring a child into this world if you can't afford to feed and look after this child.
 
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There always has to be a cut off point. If they bend the rules for this person everyone will expect it every time they lose a child. How many women lose a child everyday. 4,6,8,10,12 weeks pregnant. Do we pay everyone.
 
As with many Centrelink rules they are probably devised by people with absolutely no idea of the trauma caused. I see there has to be some sort of cut off point, but I think 20 weeks , should be more appropriately changed to about 16 weeks, when usually the mother is aware of movements from the baby she is carrying.
Also the bureaucratic policy of not allowing pensioners on aged care packages to fund an air conditioner for themselves is another big blunder
 
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Our Communist Govt give as little as possible to those they are supposed to Serve ,most Miscarriages occur in the first Trimester up to Twelve Weeks ,so Why then is the stipulation Twenty Weeks which is far less common occurance
Because if you got your facts correct when reading a foetus is not viable til 20 weeks...why should the taxpayers pay ? One good reason..
This was her choice!
 
As with many Centrelink rules they are probably devised by people with absolutely no idea of the trauma caused. I see there has to be some sort of cut off point, but I think 20 weeks , should be more appropriately changed to about 16 weeks, when usually the mother is aware of movements from the baby she is carrying.
Also the bureaucratic policy of not allowing pensioners on aged care packages to fund an air conditioner for themselves is another big blunder
Its the taxpayers that pay NOT the government also seriously why should the government pay? You choose to get pregnant? You choose to make that decision and things may go wrong..why do you need to get a hand out? Why does she??
 
This baby did not meet any of the criteria for Centrelink payment. He was under the required gestation being only 19 weeks & grossly underweight at just 230g of the required 400g. Looking at another side of this unfortunate situation, I believe it still applies that a stillborn/miscarriage under 20 weeks gestation does not have to be buried so they do not have to carry the burden of having a funeral - it is their choice, not the law, if they do decide to go down this route.
She is not the first to lose a baby & won't be the last (unfortunately). However, this does not mean that the rest of society has to carry the financial cost to her because she cannot afford to live if she doesn't go back to work. I'm going to be quite crass here & say "Get over it" and go back to work.
I had serial miscarriages. I stopped counting at six. We never had our own children, but we adopted a son, who means the world to us.

I was a nurse and due to financial pressures, it was necessary for me to get back to work as soon as possible, back to the hospital where the miscarriage occurred, and where the remains of our baby were removed and discarded.

In essence, I absolutely understand the grief this couple is experiencing, but we simply cannot expect the government to step up with financial aid every time a bad thing happens. Life’s full of horrible things. We simply must learn to manage them and keep going. There are so many agencies which can help couples in this situation these days, many of which are free. Nothing was available when I needed help.
 
Geoff01 - you are far out of touch mate.
You truly have no idea what you are judging.

Your statement:

is risible. It shows you have NO IDEA of rents, groceries and actually how much one wage as a chef really is.
We also went through life on my wage only. 4 kids.
So what?
Have you seen the rent increases, or the inflation rate?

I try not to criticise individuals for ignorant statements - most people simply do not realise what they have said.
I'll leave it at that. Keep up mate.
Why did she need a hand out? Why?? She made that choice NO ONE else why should others have to pay for that..and before you even start on me with your know all attitude I have lost a child I have been through the devastation, I have paid for the funeral...we had to take out a loan to pay for it...AND I DID NOT GET A HAND OUT..we were a single wage family, it was our first child...so unless you have been there I would strongly advise you to be quiet
 
Our Communist Govt give as little as possible to those they are supposed to Serve ,most Miscarriages occur in the first Trimester up to Twelve Weeks ,so Why then is the stipulation Twenty Weeks which is far less common occurance
Because 20 weeks is the age at which a fetous is considered viable.
People need to get over these "entitled"attitudes that the government is responsible for everything that happens to them. Be responsible for your own life, if you can't afford a child don't have one, it's unfair on the child and very selfish, as is the attitude that the world owes you a living.
 
Why didn't centrelink explore the other options at the time of not approving payment. Maybe centrelink needs protocols based on humanity rather than a set of unwavering rules
What? Compassion and Humanity when money is involved? That's communism; this is Australia! Just think; all mums will be doing it for cash if we change the rules (Irony alert. That is what many say when refugees arrive "illegally" or when people are made redundant and are forced to become "bludgers").
 
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We are step by step going backwards as a country led by unfeeling, unthinking Politicians. The super dickheads that made up this rule ought to be shot. I am so sorry this has happened to you.
And we vote for the bastard politicians; that is why Australia is backwards, from a societal perspective. Pomgolia used to do it better although since 1979 it has gone viciously Australian. So has NZ.
 
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If Patty lost the baby at 20 weeks then she is required legally to have a funeral for her baby. Under 20 weeks this is not required and it is up to the parent to decide what is to be done. The centrelink payment is meant to cover the costs associated with the funeral and other expenses associated through this loss. I wonder if taking the baby under 20 weeks was saving Patty and her family from the funeral grieving process.
 
Why should the govt have to pay for everything. They have to draw a line somewhere.
Why should the Liberal government of Tasmania pay $810 000 000 of our taxpayers' money to build a stadium for the AFL and a training centre for men in tight shorts to bump into each other whilst kicking their oval balls around? The money would be better spent on providing Tasmanians with effective public health-care.
 
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Who do you suggest we vote for???
And with that comment, you have hit the nail squarely on its head. The British Labour Party of 1945, although it doesn't exist anymore. Gough Whitlam, perhaps, but I hear he has died. Certainly not a Thatcherite or a former fish'n'chip shop owner.......Sorry, no good answer to your question
 
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