Recent content by Skipton

Hymns!

Ponderisms I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes. Once you’re in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity? What disease did cured ham actually have? How is it that we put man on the moon before we...

Flag Fall! A clearly inebriated woman, stark naked, jumped into a taxi i The cab driver, an old Jewish gentleman, opened his eye: wide and stared at the woman, but made no attempt to start the cab. The woman glared back at him and said, "What's wrong with you, honey? Haven't you ever seen a...

Goodbye Grandpa! A father put his 3 year-old daughter to bed told her a story and listened to her prayers which ended by saying, "God bless Mommy, God bless Daddy, God bless Grandma, and good-bye Grandpa." The father asked, 'Why did you say good-bye Grandpa?' The little girl said, "I don't...

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Noah Pt2 In the year 2025, the Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in Australia, and said: "Once again, the earth has become wicked and over-populated, and I see the end of all flesh before me. Build another Ark and save 2 of every living thing along with a few good humans." He gave Noah...

The Irish Furniture Dealer Murphy, a furniture dealer from Dublin, decided to expand the line of furniture in his store, so he decided to go to Paris to see what he could find. After arriving in Paris, he visited with some manufacturers and selected a line that he thought would sell well back...

The Difference Wife's Diary: Tonight, I thought my husband was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a nice restaurant for dinner. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment on it. Conversation wasn't...

Movement! Three old men are sitting on the porch of a retirement home. The first says: “Fellas, I got real problems. I’m seventy years old. Every morning at seven o’clock, I get up and try to urinate. All day long, I try to urinate. They give me all kinds of medicine, but nothing helps.” The...

Tap! Tap!

Current Events! A senior gentleman arrived at the pearly gates seeking permission from St Peter to enter heaven...... " Yes sir, but i only admit men who have shown amazing courage in the face of adversity during their time on earth, tell me sir, what was the bravest thing you ever did...

Inspirational!

Thank You An Arab Sheik was admitted to a Royal Naval hospital for complicated surgery. Prior to the procedure, the doctors needed to store some blood in case the need arose. As the gentleman had a rare type of blood ( something to do with the minor blood group antigens) and none could be...

The Dolphin Trainer A senior crashed his car into a Ferrari. The owner of the Ferrari jumps out and confronts the old man and says, “Give me $10,000 cash or you'll be sorry you crossed me!” The old man replies, “Woah, wait buddy, I don’t have that much money, but let me call my son - he...

Happiness!