[Michelle Engbino]

Do you think it's fair for your grandchild to spend on this?​

AIBU, which stands for 'Am I Being Unreasonable', is the perfect platform for sharing your thoughts and opinions! So, for today's AIBU discussion, we have this story from Aggravating-Oil2918.

'I (23 F) have just graduated from university. I’ve always had a close relationship with my nan and she has given me roughly $2,100 upon graduation as a gift. As she isn’t really good with tech, she gave my dad cash. My dad said he’ll keep it in his account for the time being.'

'Yesterday I asked for the money as I had something I wanted to buy. My dad told me he has spent it and has nothing to give me at the moment. I know $2.1k isn’t a large sum of money but I currently have no income so it would really help me right now. And what pisses me off the most is that he didn’t even think of asking me before using my money.'

'I had a huge fight with my parents but they think I’m being ungrateful as they’ve spent most of the money on me anyways (living expenses, education etc.) Right now I feel like my trust has been broken by the two people I trusted the most.'

'UPDATE:

1. I used to study abroad so since I have graduated now, I am currently staying at home with my parents, which makes things a lot more complicated.
2. Many of you advised me to tell my grandmum about this, which I did. But she isn’t bothered by it as my parents claimed that all the money went to paying for my education etc.
3. I demanded to have less than a third of the money returned by tomorrow. My dad said he had no money, and if he had to pay me, he would have to sell his last gold bar.
4. I’m applying for masters this year, and my parents were gonna sponsor me. But now, my dad is threatening not to do so anymore since I’m demanding my money back.'

'Also, I’m from an Asian country, where being “filial” is highly important, so I don’t know if that changes the context.'

'I’m also wondering if I can take out a student loan in the US as a foreign students to pay for my tuition if my dad does withdraw his offer?'

 

[wildroseforever]

Why are we getting American problems on this site - dont we have enough Australian ones?
In future ask your grandmother to give the money to you direct.

 

[MariaG]

Well.
Looks like daddy needs to be dobbed in to granny.
Granny should be told why any future money gifts, if they eventuate, should go to you.
Then you put the grown up girl pants on and open up your own bank account.
Some parents look at having kids and supporting them is a investment in everyone's future. Kiss the money goodbye and get on with things in a grown up fashion.

 

[Jo Piper3]

"If you gave your grandchildren money, do you think it’s reasonable for them to spend it as they please?"

This headline is very misleading as the grandchild did not receive the money anyway!

 

[Suzanne rose]

After reading this article and coming to the end I realised it wasn't Australian as parents dont sponsor their children for uni. Then there it was USA.

Why American articles. The heading was also very misleading.

Both parties are wrong, the daughter is 23 and the money should have gone straight to the girl. But if the parents did pay a lot for her education then maybe she should have let them have it.

Now she is saying she lived back home and wants her parents to sponsor her for her masters , that means they are paying for her Masters !!!
Maybe Im leaning more to favourite the parents.

 

[novezar]

I didn't read the posting.
You give money as gifts to whoever, then they can spend it in which ever way they see fit.

 

[Suzanne rose]

I didn't read the posting.
You give money as gifts to whoever, then they can spend it in which ever way they see fit.

I agree 100% with you but this article I think is Misleading

 

[Suzanne rose]

Also, why did the grandmother give the money to her son and not straight to the granddaughter? Maybe she was helping with her education cost.

When I give a graduation gift, I give a card with money, and like I did last week straight to my granddaughter who graduated year 12

 

[novezar]

Yes, "SR", I'm in your boat.
We give either cash or gift cards to "Our" off spring, 2nd marriage, I have 3 sons & my bride has 3 as well. Then there are the grand children which are also part of the equation.

I give cash to mine & my bride, a mixture of cash & gift cards. All in all, everything is accepted with glee.

We have a very amicable agreement where everyone is happy.

 

[darrellh]

Different cultures do do things differently but tbe way this is written is very misleading to start with. It sounds like she is being 100% supported by her parents. But at the same time the gift was stipulated to be for the grandaughter and the father had no right to spend it in my opinion without discussing it with her. What would he have done if the grandmother hadn't given her the money and it wasn't sitting in his bank account?

 

[rutherkip]

Also, why did the grandmother give the money to her son and not straight to the granddaughter? Maybe she was helping with her education cost.

When I give a graduation gift, I give a card with money, and like I did last week straight to my granddaughter who graduated year 12

That makes sense! Maybe she wanted to help with education costs or let her son handle it. Giving gifts directly, like you did with your granddaughter, especially with a card, money, and a custom graduation stole, feels really personal and thoughtful—it’s such a lovely way to celebrate a milestone like graduation.