[Mikev]

Dad Joke ​

I asked an old man I know, "Even after 95 years, you still call your wife 'Darling', 'Honey', 'Love'.
What's the secret?".

Old man: "I forgot her name 10 years ago and I'm scared to ask her"

 

[Dennis]

Dennis R's Morning Joke. Why did the boy sit on his watch? He wanted to be on time.

 

[Skydiver]

Love them both!

 

[Mikev]

Dennis R's Morning Joke. Why did the boy sit on his watch? He wanted to be on time.

Haha ️

 

[thomas]

Dennis R's Morning Joke. Why did the boy sit on his watch? He wanted to be on time.

as with the painters not painting above the clock of Big Ben Tower, they didn't want to work over time

 

[magpie1]

as with the painters not painting above the clock of Big Ben Tower, they didn't want to work over time

Maybe it's High Time they changed their mind....they're missing out on a lot of money...

 

[Reet]

Maybe it's High Time they changed their mind....they're missing out on a lot of money...

And a good view over London!
My uncle Stan used to be the man who made sure that Big Ben stayed at the right time when the Queen had to make an appearance at a specific time. He let this fact out by accident to a reporter at one time and the reporter broadcast the fact as to why the Queen was always on time!

 

[magpie1]

Haha ️

At the time you posted this, you're watch is 31 minutes late

 

[Luckyus]

A man was sitting next to the Pope on a cross-country flight. The Pope was doing a crossword puzzle. He turned to the man and asked “Do you know a four-letter word for ‘woman’ that ends in U-N-T

The man thought for a minute and said “Aunt.”

“Oh yes, of course,” the Pope replied. “Do you have an eraser?”

 

[Luckyus]

After a party, one man was in no shape to drive, so he wisely left his car and walked home. As he was walking unsteadily along, he was stopped by a policeman.

“What are you doing out here at 2 o’clock in the morning?” the officer asked.

“I’m going to a lecture,” the man said.

“And who would be giving this lecture at this hour?” the cop asked.

“My wife,” the bloke replied.

 

[thomas]

After a party, one man was in no shape to drive, so he wisely left his car and walked home. As he was walking unsteadily along, he was stopped by a policeman.

“What are you doing out here at 2 o’clock in the morning?” the officer asked.

“I’m going to a lecture,” the man said.

“And who would be giving this lecture at this hour?” the cop asked.

“My wife,” the bloke replied.

a policeman asked a drunk that was dragging a cabbage on a piece of string, what he was doing, "taking my dog for a walk" policeman "that's not a dog" drunk " i was told it was a cauli not a cabbage.
scraping the bottom of the barrel there I think.

 

[Mikev]

A man was sitting next to the Pope on a cross-country flight. The Pope was doing a crossword puzzle. He turned to the man and asked “Do you know a four-letter word for ‘woman’ that ends in U-N-T

The man thought for a minute and said “Aunt.”

“Oh yes, of course,” the Pope replied. “Do you have an eraser?”

Haha

 

[Mikev]

After a party, one man was in no shape to drive, so he wisely left his car and walked home. As he was walking unsteadily along, he was stopped by a policeman.

“What are you doing out here at 2 o’clock in the morning?” the officer asked.

“I’m going to a lecture,” the man said.

“And who would be giving this lecture at this hour?” the cop asked.

“My wife,” the bloke replied.

Haha

 

[Luckyus]

a policeman asked a drunk that was dragging a cabbage on a piece of string, what he was doing, "taking my dog for a walk" policeman "that's not a dog" drunk " i was told it was a cauli not a cabbage.
scraping the bottom of the barrel there I think.

99.9% Of the jokes here are doing just that, the only difference being that some people genuinely haven't seen or heard them before But those that hav e differentially keep stoom? To avoid any disappointment.