[Vinylted]

LIMERICK'S SPICY & BOLD​

There was a young lady from Norway
Who hung by her heels from the doorway;
She told her young man
Get up off the divan,
I think I've discovered one more way!

 

[Vinylted]

There was a young man from Australia
Who painted his ar*e like a dahlia;
The colour was fine
As was the design,
But the aroma, alas was a failure!

 

[Vinylted]

From the depths of the crypt at St Giles
Came a scream that resounded for miles;
My goodness gracious
Said Father Ignatius,
Has the curate forgotten the bishop has piles!..
oops

 

[Vinylted]

A gourmet diner from Woolloomooloo
Found an elephants whang in his stew;
Said the waiter, don't shout
Or wave it about,
Or the others will all want one too..

 

[Xe]

@Vinylted, I challenge you to write one about yourself

 

[Vinylted]

@Vinylted, I challenge you to write one about yourself

Ok I'll have a go, but first how about a phonetic pronunciation of Xe please...

 

[Vinylted]

From Melbourne came feisty old Ted
Whose dreams as he lay in his bed;
Of a sweet soft lady
A nook nice and shady,
Alas, any action was all in his head..

 

[Xe]

Ok I'll have a go, but first how about a phonetic pronunciation of Xe please...

Ah I just had a similar conversation with @Goodbloke! My name is Xeandra (pronounce zee-ann-dra). Xe is my nickname (pronounced Zee). I should have introduced myself I guess

 

[Xe]

From Melbourne came feisty old Ted
Whose dreams as he lay in his bed;
Of a sweet soft lady
A nook nice and shady,
Alas, any action was all in his head..

Great job @Vinylted. It isn't too late to find yourself a lady, I'm certain.

 

[Vinylted]

Ah I just had a similar conversation with @Goodbloke! My name is Xeandra (pronounce zee-ann-dra). Xe is my nickname (pronounced Zee). I should have introduced myself I guess

Thanks Zee.. hehehehe

 

[Vinylted]

Luckily at my age my time is taken up with my other lady friends..

 

[Vinylted]

There was an old maid of Pitlochry
Whose morals were truly a mockery;
For under the bed
Was a lover instead,
Of the usual porcelain crockery..

 

[Xe]

@Vinylted I commented this before i found out you're married!

 

[Vinylted]

An amorous maiden antique
Locked a man in her house for a week;
He entered her door
With a shout and a roar,
But his exit was marked by a squeak..

 

[Xe]

An amorous maiden antique
Locked a man in her house for a week;
He entered her door
With a shout and a roar,
But his exit was marked by a squeak..

Please explain this one

 

[Vinylted]

Please explain this one

Oh please come on Ms Innocent ... Man turned into a mouse.... you work out how hahaha

 

[Xe]

Oh please come on Ms Innocent ... Man turned into a mouse.... you work out how hahaha

I wanted to see if you'd be brave enough to say it!!

 

[Vinylted]

I wanted to see if you'd be brave enough to say it!!

I'm old enough to get away with most things... grins How about contributing one yourself, or continuing in the one line at a time thread? Hey make that a challenge!

 

[Placid]

Okay, someone has to write the old staple.
Looks like it's gonna have to be me.


There was a young lady from Cape Cod
Who thought all good things came from God
But it wasn't the Almighty
That lifted her nightie
But Roger, the lodger, the sod.

 

[Vinylted]

Bewdy mate, I'm glad I'm not the only one...I'd almost forgotten Roger.. a goody..

There was a young plumber of Sydney
Who was plumbing a maid by the sea;
She said stop your plumbing
I think someone's coming,
Said the plumber, still plumbing, 'tis me...