When it comes to parenting advice, you might expect a monarch to offer pearls of wisdom steeped in tradition and formality. But as former New Zealand Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern reveals in her new memoir, sometimes the best advice is the simplest—and the most down-to-earth.


In an exclusive extract from her upcoming book, A Different Kind of Power, Ardern shares a delightful and refreshingly candid moment she had with the late Queen Elizabeth II. The year was 2018, and Ardern, then seven months pregnant and newly elected as New Zealand’s Prime Minister, was attending the Commonwealth Heads of Government Meeting in London. Dressed in a mustard yellow gown tailored by Kiwi designer Juliette Hogan and draped in a traditional Māori cloak, Ardern was not just representing her country—she was also preparing for the unique challenge of raising a child in the public eye.


As she and her partner, Clarke Gayford, walked through the grand halls of Buckingham Palace, Ardern was granted a rare 20-minute private audience with the Queen, who was 91 at the time. With her own anxieties about balancing motherhood and leadership swirling in her mind, Ardern seized the opportunity to ask the Queen for advice on raising children under the constant gaze of the world.

The Queen’s response? Classic, concise, and utterly relatable: 'You just get on with it.'


Ardern writes, 'She sounded so matter of fact, just as my grandma Margaret might have.' It was a moment of connection between two women who, despite their vastly different backgrounds, shared the experience of motherhood in the spotlight. Ardern recalls squeezing the gift she’d brought for the Queen—a framed photo of Her Majesty laughing during a 1953 royal tour of New Zealand—and realising the truth in those simple words. 'You just get on with it. Of course you do.'

Just two months after that memorable meeting, Ardern made history as only the second elected head of government to give birth while in office, welcoming her daughter Neve Te Aroha in June 2018. The only other leader to do so was Benazir Bhutto of Pakistan. Ardern’s return to work as Prime Minister just weeks after giving birth was a powerful statement about the realities—and possibilities—of modern leadership.

Interestingly, Queen Elizabeth herself had also navigated motherhood while on the throne, giving birth to Prince Andrew and Prince Edward after her coronation. While the Queen was not an elected leader, her experience of raising children under intense public scrutiny was something Ardern could look up to.


Reflecting on her conversation with the Queen during a BBC interview ahead of the monarch’s funeral in 2022, Ardern said, 'One of the things on my mind alongside being a new prime minister was being a prime minister and a mum. And when you think about leaders who have been in that position, there were so few to look to. So I said to her, ‘How did you manage?’ And I remember she just said, ‘Well, you just get on with it.’ And that was actually probably the best and most factual advice I could have.'

Ardern’s admiration for the Queen extended beyond their personal exchange. She attended the Queen’s state funeral at Westminster Abbey in September 2022, reflecting on the profound impact the monarch had on her people. 'The Queen was here for her people, and now her people are there for her,' Ardern observed, moved by the way London came to a standstill to honour Her Majesty.

In recognition of her own service, Ardern was made a dame by the Prince of Wales at Windsor Castle in October 2024—a fitting tribute to a leader who, like the Queen, has inspired many with her resilience and authenticity.

So, what can we take from this royal encounter? Whether you’re a world leader or a grandparent helping out with the grandkids, sometimes the best advice is the simplest: when life gets overwhelming, you just get on with it. It’s a reminder that even those at the very top face the same challenges as the rest of us—and that a little bit of humour and pragmatism can go a long way.
We’d love to hear from you, members! Have you ever received a piece of parenting or grandparenting advice that stuck with you? Or perhaps you’ve got your own 'just get on with it' story to share? Pop your thoughts in the comments below—let’s celebrate the wisdom (and wit) that gets us through life’s biggest challenges!