[Skipton]

Woolies Special!​

A man in the pub is complaining to the barman about his life. "My wife locks me in the house all day, stuck there doing housework and DIY." "She beats me, and I never get out, never see my mates or family. This is the first time I have been out in months, she forgot to lock the door when she went shopping".
"That's horrendous", says the barman, sympathetically offering him free beer. "Why don't you get her killed? "How will I do that" says the man?.
"Go and see my mate Artie. He's a really cheap hitman". "He's over there in the corner".
The man walks towards Artie and retells the story and asks "How much to do her in?" Artie nods and says, "well I feel sorry for you so I'll do it for $1" and asks, "Where is she now?" "She will be in Woolworth's shopping about now, wearing a Burberry hat and scarf" explained the man. Artie leaves the pub and heads to Woolworth's.
Upon arrival, he sees a lady leaving with the hat and scarf on that meets the description given by the man. He pounces, and strangles her to death outside the store. Just then, another woman comes out with the same clothes. Not wanting to fail, he strangles her as well.
Inevitably, he is caught on CCTV, and arrested shortly after. The case generates significant local interest, and a local paper reports on the infamous hit man, using the headline;
Artie Chokes Two for a $1 at Woolworth's!