Skipton

Well-known member
Feb 2, 2022
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Why I like Retirement.

Why I Like Retirement!


Question:
How many days in a week?
Answer:
6 Saturdays, 1 Sunday


Question:
When is a retiree's bedtime?
Answer:
Two hours after falling asleep on the couch.


Question: How many retirees does it take to change a light bulb?
Answer: Only one, but it might take all day.


Question: What's the biggest gripe of retirees?
Answer:
There is not enough time to get everything done.


Question: Why don't retirees mind being called Seniors?
Answer:
The term comes with a 10% discount.


Question: Among retirees, what is considered formal attire?
Answer:
Tied shoes.

Question: Why do retirees count pennies?
Answer:
They are the only ones who have the time.


Question: What is the common term for someone who enjoys work and refuses to retire?
Answer:
NUTS!


Question: Why are retirees so slow to clean out the basement, attic or garage?
Answer:
They know that as soon as they do, one of their adult kids will want to store stuff there.


Question: What do retirees call a long lunch?
Answer:
Normal.


Question: What is the best way to describe retirement?
Answer: The never-ending Coffee Break.


Question: What's the biggest advantage of going back to school as a retiree?
Answer:
If you cut classes, no one calls your parents.
And, my very favourite....

QUESTION:
What do you do all week?
Answer:
Monday through Friday, NOTHING. Saturday & Sunday, I rest.

 
Why I like Retirement.

Why I Like Retirement!


Question:
How many days in a week?
Answer:
6 Saturdays, 1 Sunday


Question:
When is a retiree's bedtime?
Answer:
Two hours after falling asleep on the couch.


Question: How many retirees does it take to change a light bulb?
Answer: Only one, but it might take all day.


Question: What's the biggest gripe of retirees?
Answer:
There is not enough time to get everything done.


Question: Why don't retirees mind being called Seniors?
Answer:
The term comes with a 10% discount.


Question: Among retirees, what is considered formal attire?
Answer:
Tied shoes.

Question: Why do retirees count pennies?
Answer:
They are the only ones who have the time.


Question: What is the common term for someone who enjoys work and refuses to retire?
Answer:
NUTS!


Question: Why are retirees so slow to clean out the basement, attic or garage?
Answer:
They know that as soon as they do, one of their adult kids will want to store stuff there.


Question: What do retirees call a long lunch?
Answer:
Normal.


Question: What is the best way to describe retirement?
Answer: The never-ending Coffee Break.


Question: What's the biggest advantage of going back to school as a retiree?
Answer:
If you cut classes, no one calls your parents.
And, my very favourite....

QUESTION:
What do you do all week?
Answer:
Monday through Friday, NOTHING. Saturday & Sunday, I rest.
I actually thought today, was Wednesday..
 
Why do Dr's ask a person with suspected dementia what day it is, it doesn't matter when we are retired or who the prime minister is, they only last five minutes anyway. Watched my mother in law asked these questions but she only knew the difference between night and day.
 
Why do Dr's ask a person with suspected dementia what day it is, it doesn't matter when we are retired or who the prime minister is, they only last five minutes anyway. Watched my mother in law asked these questions but she only knew the difference between night and day.
I was in the emergency room at the hospital and in the next bed was a 94-year-old gentleman. They were trying to assess him by asking him those questions (what day is it, who is the prime minister etc) and he answered every question with "What the heck do I care? I'm 94 you know". And it was evident by his happy tone that he truly didn't care.
 
My hubby gets the days mixed up. He is either behind a day or in front a day. I sometimes have to think what day it is. When it comes to what date it is today, I either look at the calendar or stop and think.
 
My hubby gets the days mixed up. He is either behind a day or in front a day. I sometimes have to think what day it is. When it comes to what date it is today, I either look at the calendar or stop and think.
I have a Google Nest Hub and regularly ask it those questions. I'm waiting for the day that the voice comes back, "For God's sake get a bloody diary!!!" 😂🤣😂
 
Its bin day, so it's gotta be Thursday. 🤔
Can't say that anymore they changed our day to Wednesday. From the time I have grown up, to everywhere we have lived, bin day has always been Thursdays, and now we have missed two of them because they even swapped the recycle as well. NOT HAPPY JAN
 
I got caught out once, when I put a tiny little pin prick hole, at the bottom of 4 dates on a calendar... just so I'd know.

A few uneventful months had gone by, until one day in the kitchen, my mostly adorable partner pointed at the calendar and said "what do you think these tiny pin holes are for?

I immediately hung my head and mumbled as I walked into the loungeroom, "It's secret men's business darling' I can't tell you."

About an hour later, while snuggled up together watching a video, she suddenly sat bolt upright, and proceeded to hit me a couple of times with a light fluffy cushion. I checked my calendar later and nuh...

she was early (sigh) Its a tricky business...
 
Last edited:
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Why I like Retirement.

Why I Like Retirement!


Question:
How many days in a week?
Answer:
6 Saturdays, 1 Sunday


Question:
When is a retiree's bedtime?
Answer:
Two hours after falling asleep on the couch.


Question: How many retirees does it take to change a light bulb?
Answer: Only one, but it might take all day.


Question: What's the biggest gripe of retirees?
Answer:
There is not enough time to get everything done.


Question: Why don't retirees mind being called Seniors?
Answer:
The term comes with a 10% discount.


Question: Among retirees, what is considered formal attire?
Answer:
Tied shoes.

Question: Why do retirees count pennies?
Answer:
They are the only ones who have the time.


Question: What is the common term for someone who enjoys work and refuses to retire?
Answer:
NUTS!


Question: Why are retirees so slow to clean out the basement, attic or garage?
Answer:
They know that as soon as they do, one of their adult kids will want to store stuff there.


Question: What do retirees call a long lunch?
Answer:
Normal.


Question: What is the best way to describe retirement?
Answer: The never-ending Coffee Break.


Question: What's the biggest advantage of going back to school as a retiree?
Answer:
If you cut classes, no one calls your parents.
And, my very favourite....

QUESTION:
What do you do all week?
Answer:
Monday through Friday, NOTHING. Saturday & Sunday, I rest.
🥳
 
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