A bloke walked into the pub & sat down at the bar, ordered a beer and then looked at the man beside him & said is that your dog down there? The other guy answered yes. The first guy says he is licking his dick, I wish I could do that, the dog owner says - I would pat him first. 🤣
 
A shaggy dog story about a shaggy dog.

Once upon a time in a small town, there was a shaggy dog named Rufus. Rufus was not your ordinary dog; he had a wild mane of fur that made him look like he had just survived a windstorm. His owner, Mrs. Jenkins, adored him, though she often lost him in the tall grass of the park because he blended in so well.

One sunny afternoon, Mrs. Jenkins decided to take Rufus to the annual town fair. Excited about the cotton candy and pie-eating contests, she dressed Rufus in a silly hat and a bright red bandana. They arrived, and Rufus immediately caught the attention of everyone. Kids loved to pet him, and adults snapped pictures, thinking he was a rare breed.

As the day went on, Mrs. Jenkins decided to enter Rufus into the "Cutest Dog" contest. When Rufus strutted onto the stage, the crowd went wild. He wagged his tail like he was auditioning for a doggy runway show, and Mrs. Jenkins beamed with pride.

But then, disaster struck. Just as the judges were about to announce the winner, a small child accidentally dropped a giant hot dog right in front of Rufus. The scent was too much for him to resist. In a flash, he lunged forward, his fur flying everywhere, and grabbed the hot dog in his mouth.

The crowd gasped. Mrs. Jenkins screamed, "Rufus, no!" But it was too late. Rufus dashed off the stage, hot dog in tow, and ran straight into the nearby petting zoo.

In the petting zoo, chaos erupted. Rufus, thinking he was now the king of the fair, began running around with the hot dog like it was a trophy. Goats, sheep, and even a confused llama chased after him, bleating and baaing in utter confusion. Rufus zigzagged through the animals, his shaggy fur making it hard for anyone to catch him.

Finally, Rufus jumped onto a haystack to get a better view of the madness he’d created. With the hot dog still clutched in his mouth, he looked like the ruler of an animal kingdom. The crowd roared with laughter, cheering him on.

Just when it seemed like Rufus would never give up the hot dog, Mrs. Jenkins had a brilliant idea. She grabbed a giant piece of cotton candy, waved it in the air, and shouted, “Rufus, look! Candy!”

Rufus’s eyes widened, and he dropped the hot dog. In a flash, he was off the haystack and bounding toward Mrs. Jenkins, who had managed to attract the attention of the entire crowd. They all watched as he ran, his fur bouncing like a fluffy trampoline.

As he reached Mrs. Jenkins, the crowd erupted in applause, and she couldn’t help but laugh. Rufus, now with a sticky pink paw from the cotton candy, looked up at her as if to say, “I meant to do that!”

In the end, Rufus didn’t win the "Cutest Dog" contest, but he did win the hearts of everyone at the fair. They even started calling him “Rufus the Ruckus,” the dog who turned a hot dog into a wild adventure. And from that day on, Mrs. Jenkins made sure to always keep a cotton candy in her pocket—just in case Rufus ever needed a distraction again!
 

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