[Luckyus]

Two Lads on a Bender (OOPS)​

Two buddies, Tony and Steve, are getting very drunk at a bar
when suddenly Steve throws up all over himself.

"Oh, no. Now Jane will kill me!"

Tony says, "Don't worry, pal. Just tuck a twenty in your breast
pocket, tell Jane that someone threw up on you and gave you
twenty dollars for the dry cleaning bill."

So they stay for another couple of hours and get even more
drunk. Eventually Steve rolls into home and his Jane starts to
give him a bad time.

"You reek of alcohol and you've puked all over yourself!
My God, you're disgusting!"

Speaking very carefully so as not to slur, Steve says,
"Nowainaminit, can e'splain everythin! Itsh snot wha jew think.
I only had a cupla drrrinks. But thiss other guy got ssick on me...
he had one too manyand he juss couldin hold hizz liquor.
He said he was verrry sorry an' gave me twennie bucks for the
cleaning bill!"

Jane looks in the breast pocket and says, "But this is forty bucks."

"Oh, yeah...I almos' fergot, he shhhit in my pants, too."