[Luckyus]

Two for One​

Murphy's staggering home after a skinful of Guinness when he's approached by a blonde lady-of-the-night.
"Hi darlin' if ya got ten quid, you can have a go at this," she says and with that, lifts her skirt and shows him her crutchless panties, exposing her cockpit.
Murphy bends down, squints at the offering and says, "Yer fkn kiddin' luv, I wouldn't touch that if you gave me ten quid. Not after what it's done to yer fkn knickers!"

Dafydd had been pursuing Blodwyn for some time. Finally, she agreed to let him take her to the pictures.
They found a seat right at the back, with nobody around them. Dafydd couldn't believe his luck, Blodwyn was not only kissing him passionately, but she allowed him to put his hand up her jumper and fondle her.
Suddenly, Dafydd pulled away and said, "Blodwyn, can I smell your knickers?"
Blodwyn was shocked and said, "Definitely not!"
"Must be your fkn feet, then!" said, Dafydd.