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Two Fishing Mates
I went out fishing with my mate yesterday, on our favourite lake. The fishing was rubbish, no bites and so boring that we quickly ran out of Guinness.
"I don't want to go home, the missus won't have left for work yet and the pubs don't open for another three hours. What'll we do?" asked Kev.
"Buggered if I know... sh!t, I've got a bite!" I yelled.
I frantically struck and hauled in, but to my surprise, I'd hooked into the cork of a champagne bottle!
"Well, we got us a drink, Kev. I wonder if there's any more down there?" I questioned as I recast.
"Let's knock this one off first," said Kev, unscrewing the cork.
Suddenly, almost making us tip our little tinnie, out pops a genie!
"Good morning gentlemen," says this odd looking bloke, "You have freed me from purgatory and I am so thankful. Now what can I do for you in return, I have the ability to grant one wish."
Kev looked at me and said, "Taff, you hooked it, so you pick, ok?"
"Ok," I said and without giving it too much thought, just in case the genie changed his mind, I said, "I wish this whole lake was filled with Guinness," and sure enough, I had hardly finished speaking when the lake turned black and started frothing with a huge head of white foam.
"You're a bloody genious Taff," said Kev, giving me a whack on my head, adding, "you stupid bastard! Why didn't you think about it first?"
"Waddya mean, stupid? Now we can come here every day and get boozed for free!"
He looked at me, shaking his head and said,
"Yes, you dozy git, and now we've got to piss in the fkn boat!"