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TWISTED DEFINITIONS
1. BEAUTY PARLOR: A place where women curl up and dye
2. CHICKENS: The only animal you eat before they are born and after they are dead.
3. COMMITTEE: A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.
4. DUST: Mud with the juice squeezed out.
5. EGOTIST: Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation.
6. HANDKERCHIEF: Cold Storage.
7. INFLATION: Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.
8. MOSQUITO: An insect that makes you like flies better. (And possibly the closest thing that God made, to something with no good purpose!)
9. POLITICAL CORRECTNESS: A doctrine fostered by a delusional, illogical minority.
10. RAISIN: A grape with a sunburn.
11. SECRET: A story you tell to one person at a time.
12. SKELETON: A bunch of bones with the person scraped off.
13. TOOTHACHE: The pain that drives you to extraction.
14. TOMORROW: One of the greatest labor-saving devices of today.
15. YAWN: An honest opinion openly expressed.
16. OLD: I very quietly confided to my friend that I was having an affair. She turned to me and asked, "Are you having it catered?" And that, my friend, is the definition of 'OLD'!
17. WRINKLES: Something other people have...similar to my 'character' lines.
1. BEAUTY PARLOR: A place where women curl up and dye
2. CHICKENS: The only animal you eat before they are born and after they are dead.
3. COMMITTEE: A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.
4. DUST: Mud with the juice squeezed out.
5. EGOTIST: Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation.
6. HANDKERCHIEF: Cold Storage.
7. INFLATION: Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.
8. MOSQUITO: An insect that makes you like flies better. (And possibly the closest thing that God made, to something with no good purpose!)
9. POLITICAL CORRECTNESS: A doctrine fostered by a delusional, illogical minority.
10. RAISIN: A grape with a sunburn.
11. SECRET: A story you tell to one person at a time.
12. SKELETON: A bunch of bones with the person scraped off.
13. TOOTHACHE: The pain that drives you to extraction.
14. TOMORROW: One of the greatest labor-saving devices of today.
15. YAWN: An honest opinion openly expressed.
16. OLD: I very quietly confided to my friend that I was having an affair. She turned to me and asked, "Are you having it catered?" And that, my friend, is the definition of 'OLD'!
17. WRINKLES: Something other people have...similar to my 'character' lines.
