[Skipton]

Touching!​

Yesterday I asked my wife what
she wanted for her birthday,
and she said she wanted something
with a lot of diamonds in it.
So, I hope she likes the
deck of cards I got her!

 

[Dennis]

Cheap stake.

Dennis R's Morning Pun Doctor, Doctor, Can you give me anything for excessive wind. Sure, here's a kite.

 

[izzylizzy]

Touching!​

Yesterday I asked my wife what
she wanted for her birthday,
and she said she wanted something
with a lot of diamonds in it.
So, I hope she likes the
deck of cards I got her!

Touching!​

Yesterday I asked my wife what
she wanted for her birthday,
and she said she wanted something
with a lot of diamonds in it.
So, I hope she likes the
deck of cards I got her!

Lucky it also has spades for her to bury him lol

 

[Jarred Santos]

Lucky it also has spades for her to bury him lol

And clubs to beat him with

 

[Littleboy8]

And clubs to beat him with

 

[Wandiwa]

 

[Littleboy8]

View attachment 39021

love it

 

[APapaz]

Ooo, have a heart people!!

 

[Macarj]

Ooo, have a heart people!!

Yeah well no one else mentioned them so I will have a heart

 

[PepeLePew]

Heard this joke recently but with a different punch line....She wanted something with a large diamond so he took her to a baseball game.

 

[Brody]

Good joke, but predictable, the wife needs to be more specific. She can't say much, It could be said she got what she asked for.

 

[Veggiepatch]

Pearl necklace? I suppose an 18 carat cucumber necklace doesn't have the same ring to it....

Plus I'm allergic to cucumbers....

 

[Wandiwa]

Or the other joke .....
Wife: Its my birthday tomorrow and I expect something that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds to be sitting in the driveway when I get up tomorrow.
Husband: So I bought her a set of bathroom scales ...........

He's in intensive care, it's touch and go for him.

 

[Veggiepatch]

Or the other joke .....
Wife: Its my birthday tomorrow and I expect something that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds to be sitting in the driveway when I get up tomorrow.
Husband: So I bought her a set of bathroom scales ...........

He's in intensive care, it's touch and go for him.

That's gotta hurt! 200 kgs of raging female bull charging at you!

 

[Wandiwa]

That's gotta hurt! 200 kgs of raging female bull charging at you!

Isn't a female bull, a contradiction of terms? maybe a heffer?
Nailed a really fat prostitute once ... was an absolute bargain, worked out at about 5c/lb.

 

[Veggiepatch]

Isn't a female bull, a contradiction of terms? maybe a heffer?
Nailed a really fat prostitute once ... was an absolute bargain, worked out at about 5c/lb.

You are the best!!

 

[Brody]

Has the Husband received his Divorce Papers yet ? He needs to think carefully.
50/50 She can buy her own Diamonds, and Broom, Broom, Sports Car.
To little to late !!!!?((

 

[UruauP]

Lucky it also has spades for her to bury him lol

Yep!