[Wandiwa]

Today's Horoscope.​

 

[Wandiwa]

 

[Wandiwa]

Brought the wife a pair of crotchless knickers for Halloween There's nothing sexual in it just that she'll get a better grip on her broomstick

 

[Littleboy8]

Brought the wife pair of crotchless knickers for Halloween There's nothing sexual in it just that she'll get a better grip on her broomstick

funny

 

[Dennis]

Dennis R's Morning Joke. This Joke gets a bit blue at the end.
A young man went into the confessant box crying and told the priest, forgive me Father but I have sinned, what have you done asked the priest? A few weeks ago, I went into the library and stayed there until closing time, when I was about to go home rain started to pour down, it was so intense I had to stay in the library, I had waited for a while with the Liberian, a young attractive single girl, then one thing led to another and I ended up sleeping with her, the man stopped talking but kept weeping,, well don't cry, it is a sin but not too bad, you should say 5 hail Mary's then you will be forgiven said the priest, But it does not end there says the man still sobbing, a few days later my next door elderly Neighbour asked me for help with her computer, her husband was hospitalized and she could not send an E Mail to her son, I went there and fixed the problem but when I was about to leave rain started pouring down and it was really stormy and I had to wait, one thing led to another and I finished up sleeping with her, Oh dear, that is harder than I realized said the priest, so what should I do asked the man, you should say 15 hail Mary's said the priest and you will be forgiven, Oh, I am afraid that the worst part is still to come said the man, the other day I went to the Barbers and I was the last person in the shop, Just as he was finishing cutting my hair it started to pour with rain and to cut a story short I finished sleeping with him, what should I do asked the man? The Priest said get the ----out of here before it rains.

 

[Wandiwa]

....... or always carry an umbrella.

 

[Reet]

Obituary in the London Times.....

I wondered where he had gone!


An Obituary printed in the London Times.


February 7, 2014

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has
been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his
birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.
He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:

- Life isn't always fair;
- And maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more
than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in
charge).

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but
overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy
charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from
school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding
an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job
that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.

It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent
to administer sun lotion or an aspirin to a student; but could not inform
parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and
criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar
in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to
realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her
lap, launched a lawsuit and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death,
-by his parents, Truth and Trust,
-by his wife, Discretion,
-by his daughter, Responsibility,
-and by his son, Reason.

He is survived by his 5 stepbrothers;
- I Know My Rights
- I Want It Now
- Someone Else Is To Blame
- I'm A Victim
- Pay me for Doing Nothing

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.

If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.

 

[Luckyus]

Brought the wife a pair of crotchless knickers for Halloween There's nothing sexual in it just that she'll get a better grip on her broomstick

WATCH OUT FOR SPLINTERS

 

[Luckyus]

Obituary in the London Times.....

I wondered where he had gone!


An Obituary printed in the London Times.


February 7, 2014

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has
been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his
birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.
He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:

- Life isn't always fair;
- And maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more
than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in
charge).

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but
overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy
charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from
school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding
an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job
that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.

It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent
to administer sun lotion or an aspirin to a student; but could not inform
parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and
criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar
in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to
realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her
lap, launched a lawsuit and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death,
-by his parents, Truth and Trust,
-by his wife, Discretion,
-by his daughter, Responsibility,
-and by his son, Reason.

He is survived by his 5 stepbrothers;
- I Know My Rights
- I Want It Now
- Someone Else Is To Blame
- I'm A Victim
- Pay me for Doing Nothing

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.

If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.

Quite a bit older than 2014