[Luckyus]

The Fifth Parrot​

Jan, Sue and Mary haven't seen each other since leaving school. They rediscover each other via Friends Reunited and arrange to meet for lunch.

Jan arrives first wearing a beige Versace dress. She orders a bottle of Pinot Gris with three glasses.

Sue arrives shortly afterwards, wearing a grey Chanel number. After the initial hugs and kisses she joins Jan in a glass of wine.

Then Mary walks in, wearing a faded old tee-shirt, blue jeans and boots. They all hug and she too shares the wine.

Jan explains that after leaving school and attending Oxford University she met and married Timothy, with whom she has a beautiful daughter. Timothy is a partner in one of London's leading law firms. They live in a 4000 sq ft apartment on Park Lane and Susanna, the daughter, attends drama school. They have a second home in Portugal

Sue relates that she graduated from Cambridge University, studied to be a doctor and then became a surgeon. Her husband, Nigel, is a leading financial investment banker in the City. They live in the Surrey stockbroker belt and have a second home in Italy.

Mary explains that after she left school at 17, she ran off with her boyfriend, Paul. They live in Essex where they grow their own vegetables and run a tropical bird park. Paul can stand five parrots side by side, on his erect penis.

Several hours later, after the third bottle of Pinot, Jan breaks down and blurts out that her husband is really a cashier at Tesco and they live in a small house in Bromley with a caravan parked in the front drive.

Sue, chastened by Jan's honesty, bursts into tears and admits that she and Nigel are actually nursing care assistants in an old people's home in Peckham. They live in a Council house and take camping holidays in Kent.


Mary finally cracks and admits that the fifth parrot has to stand on one leg.