[Luckyus]

The Aussie and the Kiwi (Non-PC)​

A couple of mates, one an Aussie, Kev, and the other a Kiwi, Bruce, are on a trip around Britain in an old Kombi.
Driving along a country road in North Wales, they spot a clearing in the hedgerow and just as they're about to fly past, Kev says, "Quick, pull up here, Bruce."
"What's up, Kev."
"I spotted something back there," says Kev, jumping out.
Bruce turns off the engine and follows his mate and they run back to a gate where, just behind the hedge, they spy a farmer with a sheep.
The sheep's on its back and the farmer is lying on top of it while its front legs are around the farmer's waist and its back legs are around his thighs.
"G'day, mate," says Kev, "What yer up to?"
"Piss off!" says the farmer, "I'm busy."
"We're sheep farmers," says Bruce, "I'm a Kiwi an' me mate's an Aussie."
"So?"
"Well," says Kev, "back home we hold them up by the tail with their feet just off the ground."
Bruce with an air of importance says, "We have a much simpler way in Enzed, we wear gumboots and stick their back legs inside. They can't kick then! Why don't you give it a go, eh?"
The farmer finishes what he's doing with a grunt, gets up and says, "You fkn colonials think you are so fkn smart, don't you?"
"What'd yer mean?" asked the lads.
"Well," says the farmer,

"How the fkn 'ell am I supposed to kiss it?"