When childhood friendships clash with wedding planning, tensions can flare in unexpected ways.
UK bride-to-be Chloe Cotterell discovered this firsthand when one of her ten bridesmaids made a request that left her completely speechless.
The internet quickly erupted over the drama that unfolded.
Chloe, a beauty influencer, had gone to great lengths for her bridal party, renting out an entire dress shop and offering to pay for each bridesmaid’s gown with no budget limit.
The only requirement was that they choose from six shades of pink to match her wedding theme.
Source: TikTok/chloecotterell
During the shopping trip, however, her childhood friend Natalie—someone Chloe had known since age three—pulled the shop assistant aside with an unusual request.
Natalie wanted to try on a white bridesmaid dress because she thought 'it would be really cool if she could be the one in a white dress compared to the other bridesmaids.' Chloe was left stunned.
'She's painfully single and enjoys it,' Chloe said in a video shared on social media, which had been viewed over 647,000 times. 'And if it's a joke, I don't find it funny.'
When Chloe confronted Natalie, asking why she wanted to wear white, her friend doubled down, insisting she wanted to 'stand out' from the other bridesmaids.
'When you're a guest at a wedding, the most important thing to keep in mind is not to upstage or upset the bride'
Chloe pointed out that Natalie was neither the maid of honour nor a head bridesmaid, leaving the bride-to-be speechless.
Wedding professionals were unanimous: Natalie's request was inappropriate.
Wedding etiquette clearly stated that only the bride should wear white, including for the bridal party unless specifically permitted by the bride herself.
Experts advised avoiding white, ivory, off-white, or any cream tones unless the couple requested an all-white dress code.
The distinction between choice and demand was crucial—while some brides chose white bridesmaid dresses for aesthetic reasons, that decision belonged solely to the bride.
Chloe had already shown remarkable generosity, covering the cost of ten dresses with no budget limit and renting out a boutique for a personal shopping experience.
Wedding costs had soared in recent years, making her investment in friendships significant, and Natalie's request appeared ungrateful.
Traditional wedding etiquette rules for bridesmaids
Follow the bride’s colour scheme and style guidelines
Avoid wearing white unless specifically chosen by the bride
Support the bride's vision, not your own preferences
Express concerns privately and respectfully before making demands
Dr Sarah Thompson, a clinical psychologist, explained that weddings often expose underlying relationship dynamics.
'When someone makes a demand like this, especially after being shown such generosity, it suggests they may feel entitled to special treatment or are struggling with the attention being focused entirely on the bride,' she said.
Longstanding friendships, like Chloe and Natalie’s since age three, could create assumptions about flexibility that did not apply to formal events.
Chloe shared the dilemma on social media, where followers voiced strong opinions.
Comments ranged from direct—'Tell her 'No!', and if she doesn't budge uninvite her to your wedding'—to sarcastic—'So you've nine bridesmaids now?'—to pointed—'Should have told her if she wants to look like a bride, maybe she should fund her own wedding.'
The majority felt Natalie should either comply with the pink dress request or be removed from the bridal party.
Wedding planners advised handling conflicts quickly and directly: set clear expectations early, address inappropriate requests privately, stand firm on decisions affecting the wedding vision, and consider whether the relationship could survive the conflict.
Experts urged brides to have honest conversations about boundaries early in the planning process, reminding them that reasonable requests were generally met with support—as Chloe’s nine other bridesmaids demonstrated.
Wedding experts agreed that wearing white to a wedding remained disrespectful because 'the last thing you want to do as a guest is upstage the happy couple.'
For Natalie and others, the rule was simple: white belonged to the bride, full stop.
Any desire to 'stand out' at someone else’s wedding reflected a misunderstanding of what weddings celebrated.
What This Means For You
Childhood friendships can make wedding planning more complicated, especially when long-term friends assume they are entitled to special privileges that override the bride’s wishes.
Wedding etiquette clearly reserves white dresses for the bride, and this rule applies to the bridal party unless the couple specifically requests otherwise.
Generosity from the bride—such as covering dress costs or organising special experiences—does not give guests licence to make inappropriate demands or disregard the bride’s vision.
Setting clear expectations early and communicating boundaries openly can prevent conflicts from escalating, ensuring the day remains focused on celebrating the couple.
Remembering these points can help maintain harmony, respect traditions, and protect friendships during what should be a joyful occasion.
Bride left speechless as bridesmaid makes outrageous outfit request — A UK bride shares how her childhood friend tried to wear white at her wedding, sparking online debate.
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/...tml?ns_mchannel=rss&ns_campaign=1490&ito=1490
White wedding — Wikipedia — Explains the origins of white wedding dresses and how Queen Victoria popularised the tradition in 1840.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/White_wedding
5 Colors You Shouldn’t Wear as a Wedding Guest [+5 We Love!] | Bella Bridesmaids — Discusses wedding dress etiquette, emphasising that white is reserved exclusively for the bride.
https://bellabridesmaids.com/blogs/bridesmaids-buzz/off-limits-wedding-guest-colors
Can You Wear White to a Wedding? Our Experts Weigh In Once and for All — Confirms that wedding etiquette prohibits guests from wearing white unless the bride permits it.
https://www.theknot.com/content/wearing-white-to-wedding
Yes! You CAN Dress Your Bridesmaids in White | Bella | Bella Bridesmaids — Notes that some modern brides do choose white bridesmaid dresses for aesthetic reasons, but the choice belongs to the bride.
https://bellabridesmaids.com/blogs/bridesmaids-buzz/white-bridesmaid-dresses
Can You Wear White to a Wedding? New Rules You Should Know. — Explains that wearing white as a guest is generally disrespectful and can upstage the bride.
https://greenweddingshoes.com/can-you-wear-white-to-a-wedding/
Have you ever faced a situation where a friend crossed boundaries at a wedding or special event?
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