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TECH SUPPORT
The young woman who submitted the tech support message below (about her
relationship to her husband) presumably did it as a joke. Then she got a
reply that was way too good to keep to herself. The tech support
people's love advice was hilarious and genius!
The query:
Dear Tech Support,
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a
distinct slowdown in overall system performance, particularly in the
flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under
Boyfriend 5.0.
In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such
as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed
undesirable programs such as: NBA 5.0, NFL 3.0 and Golf Clubs 4.1.
Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and House cleaning 2.6 simply crashes
the system. Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix
these problems, but to no avail.
What can I do?
Signed: Desperate
The response (that came weeks later out of the blue)…
Dear Desperate,
First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while
Husband 1.0 is an Operating System.
Please enter command: I thought you loved me.html and try to download
Tears 6.2. Do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that
application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run
the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5. However, remember, overuse
of the Tears application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy
Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1. Please note that Beer 6.1 is a
very bad program that will download Snoring Loudly Beta version.
Whatever you do, DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Mother-In-Law
1.0 as it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize
control of all your system resources.
In addition, please do not attempt to re-install the Boyfriend 5.0
program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.
In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited
memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider
buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We
recommend Cooking 3.0.
Good Luck
Tech Support
