[Skipton]

''Take Me Now!''​

Defence Counsel :
"Will you please state your age?"
Little old lady defendant: "I am 88 years old."
Defence counsel:
"Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened the night of April 1st?"
Little old lady: "I was sitting in my swing, on my front porch, on a warm spring evening when a young man came creeping up on the porch and sat down beside me."
Defence counsel: "Did you know him?"
Little old lady: "No, but he sure was friendly."
Defence counsel: "What happened after he sat down?"
Little old lady: "He started to rub my thigh."
Defence counsel: "Did you stop him?"
Little old lady: "No, I didn't stop him."
Defence counsel: "Why not?"
Little old lady: "It felt good. Nobody had done that since my husband, David, died some 30 years ago."
Defence counsel : "What happened next?"
Little old lady: "He began to rub my body all over."
Defence counsel: "Did you stop him then?"
Old Lady: "No, I did not."
Defence Attorney: "Why not?"
Little old lady: "His rubbing made me feel all alive and excited. I hadn't felt that good in years!"
Defence counsel: "What happened next?"
Little old lady: "Well, by then, I was feeling so hot that I just laid down and told him 'Take me, young man; take me now!' "
Defence counsel: "And did he take you?"
Little old lady: "Hell, no! He just yelled, 'April Fool!' and that's when I shot the little bastard”.