[Luckyus]

Some Short Ones​

Stockman: "Give me 3 packets of condoms, please."
Stockman: "Do you need a paper bag with that, sir?"
Stockman: "Nah, she's quite good-lookin' . . ."
***********

I was talking to a girl in the bar last night. She said,

"If you lost a few pounds, had a shave and got your

hair cut, you'd look all right."

I said, "If I did that, I'd be talking to your friends over

there instead of you."

**************
I was telling a girl in the pub about my ability to guess

what day a woman was born just by feeling her boobs.
"Really" she said, "Go on then, try."
After about thirty seconds of fondling she began to lose

patience and said, "Come on, what day was I born?"
I said, "Yesterday."

***********

I got caught taking a pee in the swimming pool today.
The lifeguard shouted at me so loud, I nearly fell in.

***********

I went to the pub last night and saw a fat chick dancing

on a table. I said, "Nice legs."
The girl giggled and said, "Do you really think so?"

I said, "Definitely! Most tables would have collapsed

by now."