.png){kind=icon}
sister troubles
My sister left her husband of 20 years and came back to live with Mum. My sister had been living interstate for 30 years, so I was closer to Mum and helped her in that time (Mum lived alone). Our parents are divorced and my sister has no kids.
At the time she planned to leave her (now-ex), my sister explained to me that she would move in to Mum's place and take it over after Mum dies and then when she dies, my kids get the house. (Do you feel my resentment starting to kick in?) At the time my sister moved in, I had been looking after Mum, (who has dementia), helping with the house, taking care of financial needs. Mum had $26K in the bank.
Over the next couple of years, Mum's savings went down to $6K, and I rolled that over to a term deposit account my sister does not have access to. She has Mum's bank book, though. As Mum's dementia got worse, we had to transition her to a nursing home. This happened about a year ago. My sister continues to live rent free in Mum's house, while Mum's pension pays for the nursing home, the rates, and the utilities.
My sister has access to Mum's bank book, but I have control of the ebanking. I move money from Mum's account to another account which her nursing home fees and rates are paid from.
You can probably feel how resentful I am of this. I don't want my sister to have nowhere to live, but I feel like a child and yelling "that's not fair!" She was paid off for her marital house by her ex. She has a pet horse (you know, the kind of pet that's so easy on the wallet), and she will happily tell me how poor she is and that she has nothing. I don't want to be mean, but this keeps me awake at night and I don't know how to start a dialogue with her. I'm pretty sure we will have to sell the house within the next 12 months because of nursing home fees.
I would love if someone could suggest to me how I can begin to talk to her. We've never been very close. We are very unalike and have never socialised. She doesn't even want to come round at Christmas.
