[Danielle G.]

Should you mess with your spouse's birthday gift? A simple tweak got in the way of this couple​

AIBU, which stands for 'Am I Being Unreasonable', is the perfect platform for sharing your thoughts and opinions! So, for today's AIBU discussion, we have this story from Reddit/[deleted]:

Am I being unreasonable for disagreeing with my wife to alter a birthday gift that my friend gave me?

'So a friend of mine gave me frames with quotes and poems that resonated with me. I was really moved by his gesture and the thought he put into it. A couple days later, my wife said the photos in the frames are in bad resolution, and that she wants to print the same images in better resolution so it doesn't look pixelated.'

'To be fair, the images were pixelated, but I told her thats a part of the gift and it means something to me. So I wouldn't want to replace the photos, even if they're exactly the same (Ship of Theseus?).'

'Today, she went ahead and printed the new images (exactly the same image, dimensions etc.) and replaced those in the frames from my friend. She said she'll still hold on to the photos my friend gave with the frames. I had no clue she was going to do it despite my explicit disapproval when she originally proposed the idea.'

'This led to a huge argument between us and she feels I'm being unreasonable because she's trying to improve the look of the photos while keeping the same image. Am I being unreasonable for being upset with her and wanting to keep the original gift with the slightly blurry images?'

 

[Bridgette Pace]

Seriously, are you really asking whether you are the AIBU? That gift was yours, it meant a lot to you and it had absolutely nothing to do with your wife. You are an individual and so is she - neither of you own or control one another - her actions were appalling (a) because she felt it was her right to do something to an item which belongs to you and (b) because she ignored your request to leave it alone and (c) she disregarded the importance of the gift remaining in its original state. If that is what married life leads to, thank God I am out of it. That woman's arrogance knows no bounds and you were right to have it out with her but I doubt it would have made any difference. Did you marry a child because I think she has a lot of growing up to do!!

 

[Jo Piper3]

Please don't tell your friend so that he or she will not be hurt by your wife's actions

 

[Marilynne]

I had a sister-in-law {please note I said HAD} who would change every gift given to my brother. Although generally speaking I sort of got on with her how she treated my brother was a sticking point.

 

[Geoff01]

Of course you are NOT being unreasonable. It was your gift with nothing to do with your wife at all. She needs to leave your gifts alone.

 

[JKD]

What!! I cannot believe anybody would do something so uncalled for. Demand for the originals back, replace them and enjoy them. Stand up for your rights - you are a man not a mouse and to heck with any repercussions!! Either you remain upset or you get it sorted and if she doesn't like it, then that is her problem. Don't hesitate!!

 

[Luckyus]

When people go to the trouble of giving me a present, no matter how bad I don't want or expect it to be changed, I think what else has she been changing without my knowledge or approval.

 

[HelenB55]

Your wife sounds like she wears the pants in your marriage. It’s her way or n way!

Stand up for yourself & let her know how upset you are by her altering a gift given to YOU…. not her.

Would she be calm and accepting if you altered one of her gifts she was given?

 

[Dawn Fryett 4865]

What a nasty wife you have, it is your gift and even if it was not perfect it was given to YOU, by someone who knew you would like it.. shame on her

 

[Nozmo]

It was a gift created by a friend who cares about you.
It need not be perfect as it is the caring thoughts that count the most.
Something you treasure should not be altered by somebody else without permission.
Enjoy your original gift.

 

[Gazzboy]

I'd buy a cheap frame and put HER photos in it and return YOUR phots to YOUR original frame and place it where YOU can enjoy it.

 

[Kevin. A.]

I can understand the gift was given to you by a very dear friend and despite the imperfections (pixelated image) you still love and adore the gift because it was given from the heart. I doubt your wife would appreciate it if you altered a gift she received from a friend.