[Luckyus]

Rude Jokes
At Your Own Peril​

How do you circumcise a hillbilly?​

Kick his sister in the jaw.

What’s the difference between a woman with PMS and a terrorist?​

You can negotiate with a terrorist.

What’s the difference between a bitch and a whore?​

A whore sleeps with everyone at the party. A bitch sleeps with everyone at the party—except you.

Why do women have orgasms?​

Just another reason to moan, really.

What’s the difference between your wife and your job?​

After five years, your job will still suck.

How is tightrope walking like getting a blowjob from someone ugly?​

If you want to enjoy either, you absolutely can’t look down.

A woman walks out of the bathroom, winks at her husband and says, “I shaved down there; you know what that means.”​

The husband responds, “Yeah, the drain is clogged.”

What did one of the prostitute’s knees say to the other?​

How come we spend so little time together?

What do you call two men fighting over a slut?​

Tug-of-whore.

How is a woman like a road?​

They both have manholes.

What do a bungee jump and a hooker have in common?​

They’re both cheap, fast, and if the rubber breaks, you’re pretty much screwed.

How are gay people like mice?​

They both hate pussies.

Why did the snowman suddenly smile?​

He could see the snowblower coming.

What’s the difference between a clitoris and a cell phone?​

Nothing! Every c**t’s got one.

When is it okay to beat up a dwarf?​

When he’s standing next you girlfriend saying that her hair smells nice.

What does a dumb slut say when you ask if she’s ever tried 69?​

“Thirty dudes is the most I can screw in one night.”

How are women like linoleum floors?​

If you lay ’em right the first time, you can walk all over them for the next 20 years or so.