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Randoms!
My boss asked me why I only get sick on work days. I said it must be my weekend immune system.
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I’ve been thinking about taking up meditation. I figure it’s better than sitting around doing nothing.
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The world tongue-twister champion just got arrested. I hear they’re gonna give him a really tough sentence.
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To the person who stole my place in the queue. I’m after you now.
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Just paid $200 for a belt that doesn’t fit! What a huge waist!
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What do you call a magician who loses his magic? Ian.
