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Piano Player
A bar had a sign in the window advertising that they needed a piano player.
A scungy-looking, old, retired Navy musician entered the bar and told the bartender he was interested in the job. The bartender wasn't too impressed with his looks but said, "What the hell," and pointed the old sailor to the piano in the corner.
The old musician sat down and started to play the most beautiful, melodious piece of music the people in the bar had ever heard. All talk stopped during the song, and when he stopped, they all applauded.
"Hey, man, you're good," said the barkeep. "What was that?"
I call it, "Drop Them Panties, Woman, It's Gonna Be A Long Night."
"Interesting title," said the bartender. "Got another?"
The old sailor broke into a foot stompin' honky-tonk piece that brought the bar patrons to their feet, clapping along until it was finished, when they again gave him a thunderous round of applause.
"You are great, man. Really great. What do you call that one?" asked the bartender.
"That's a little ditty I call, 'I Wanna Spank Yer Bare Butt, Baby, 'Til You Scream and Holler.' "
The old sailor then turned around on the bench and said, "If you'll excuse me, I need to use the restroom."
While he was gone, the bartender decided to offer him the job, starting immediately. When the old musician returned a few moments later, the bartender said, "If you want the job, it's yours."
He looked down and noticed the old sailor hadn't "quite" finished his trip to the restroom.
"By the way," he asked him, "do you know your pecker is hanging out for all the world to see?"
"Know it? Hell, I wrote it!"
