[Wandiwa]

Pearls of Wisdom​

My girlfriend says I'm cheap, so I took her out for tea and biscuits. It was quite exciting as she had never given blood before.

Non-alcoholic beer is like watching porn on the radio

My wife wants me to wear a bracelet that belonged to her grandfather. It says "Do Not Resuscitate."

It's been months since I bought the book, How To Scam People On Line. It still hasn't arrived yet.

When someone recommends a book to me and says, "It's a page turner!" I say, "Yeah, I know how books work."

If you have a red wine stain on your carpet, get some white wine and drink it until you don't care anymore.

Vitamins are good for what ails you and Viagra is good for what fails you.

One good thing about being wrong is the joy it brings to others.

If your outgo exceeds your income, then your upkeep will be your downfall.

I think racism is bad and you should treat all races the same whether Brown, Black, Asian, Latino or normal.

Even rarer than a doctor who can't stand the sight of blood is a lawyer who can't stand the sight of money.

If your palm itches, you are going to get something. If your crotch itches, you've already got it.