[SGH]

ONE LINERS​

A penny saved is obviously the result of a government oversight.

Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today, it's called golf.

The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.

The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat have become really good friends.

The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a new replacement for it.

He who hesitates is probably doing the right thing.

Did you ever notice: The Roman Numerals for forty (40) are ' XL.'

If you think there is some good in everybody, you obviously haven't met 'everybody'.

If you can smile when things go wrong, you must have someone else in mind to blame.

The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so that he can tell when he's 'really' in trouble.

There's always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look for it. For example, I am sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don't hurt.

Aging: Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.

The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.

Some people try to turn back their life's odometers. Not me, I want people to know 'why' I look this way. I've travelled a long, long way and some of the roads weren't paved.

When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, just think of Algebra.

One of the many things no one tells you about ageing is that it is such a nice change from being young.

Ah, being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.

 

[UruauP]

Nice one. Thank you for sharing.

 

[Dennis]

Dennis R's Afternoon Joke. Roger was in a full bus when a fat lady opposite him said to him. If you were a gentleman you would stand up and let someone sit down, and if you were a lady Roger replied you would stand up and let four other people sit down.

 

[Luckyus]

You can't always control.
Who walks into your life.
But you can control which window.
You throw them out of.

 

[Wandiwa]

The husband was watching his wife counting all the 1p and 2p coins out on the kitchen table when she suddenly got very angry and started shouting and crying for no reason.
He thought to himself "She's going through the change”.................