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More One Liners!
Never thought orthopedic shoes would really work for me but I stand corrected.
Once upon a time there was a king who was only twelve inches tall. He was a terrible king but he made a great ruler.
A Mexican magician says he will disappear on the count of three. He says, "Uno, dos ..." Poof. He disappeared without a tres.
I wrote a book on how to fall down the stairs. It's a step by step guide.
My son was chewing on electric cords so I had to ground him. It's OK, though, he's doing better and conducting himself accordingly.
My friend claims that he "accidentally" glued himself to his autobiography. I don't believe him but that's his story and he's sticking to it.
An armed man ran into a real estate agency and shouted, "Nobody move!"
I asked the surgeon if I could administer my own anesthetic. He said, "Sure, knock yourself out!”
I got into a fight today with 1, 3, 5, 7 and 9. The odds were really against me.
In Britain it's called a lift but Americans call it an elevator. I guess we were just raised differently.
97% of people are stupid...glad I'm in the other 5%.
