Michelle Skewes opens up about history of sexual abuse and violence from her husband
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WARNING: This article contains distressing content.
For years, husband Jon Seccull raped and abused his wife, Michelle so much and so often that she was left feeling like nothing.
One night in March 2016, Michelle Skewes from Victoria decided for the final time that she had had enough of her husband and would be leaving him for good.
Michelle gave 7NEWS.com.au permission to name and to use her picture to tell her story.
That night, she received a call from her sister, saying that Jon had been drinking whilst being home alone with the kids.
Michelle recalled her sister saying, “I’ve just got a message from (your daughter) saying, can I come and get her? Because she knows dad’s going to hurt mum tonight, and she doesn’t want to be there when it happens.”
“Michelle, you’re staying for those kids thinking that when you’re not there, everything’s okay. But it’s not,” her sister said to her.
The following day Michelle confronted Jon about it. She told him she was leaving, and she could not be married to him anymore.
“That was one of the hardest things I’ve done,” Michelle confessed.
The couple started their story when they met at the local fire brigade in 2000. Michelle was just 19 years old. Three years later, they were married. Photo retrieved from 7NEWS.com.au.
She remembered being called on the phone over eight times a day. Jon would ask “where I was, who I was with, what I was doing,” she said.
“Now I’m like, no, that’s just creepy. But at the time, it was like, ‘oh, that’s so sweet’.”
To other people, Jon was fun and cheeky. But during their marriage, he constantly made snide remarks about his wife, slowly chipping away at her character.
“He used to tell me, ‘other people think exactly the same way as me. It’s you that’s weird. It’s you that’s a prude’,” Michelle recalled.
In 2011, things changed when the assaults began.
Jon had been pushing Michelle to ‘sleep with other men’ as a solution for her postnatal depression. He said that she “failed him as a wife” by being grumpy.
“If you’re told you’re a piece of s*** every day, you start to believe it,” Michelle said.
She was forced to meet and sleep with other men as Jon watched and recorded the act on the webcam.
The ‘punishments’ began when Jon raped her and used the webcam footage of her sleeping with other men to blackmail her.
“He told me I had no choice and that he now has footage, and he was going to show it to my family and my friends and my workplace if I didn’t agree or said that I didn’t want to do it anymore.”
“I just resigned myself to the fact that this is what it is now.”
Michelle remembered feeling so ashamed of what she’d done and what had happened; she couldn’t even find the courage to tell anyone.
Jon carried on assaulting Michelle and arranged for her to meet various men for sex. Photo retrieved from 7NEWS.com.au.
Michelle eventually saw a psychiatrist. But still, her husband was checking in with the psychiatrist to “make sure everything was on track”.
Later that year, tragedy fell as the couple’s son Ethan died in a train accident.
Inspired by her son, Michelle went back and studied again at a university.
“I was like, ‘what am I doing? I’m just existing’.”
”The kids were scared,” said Michelle. Photo retrieved from 7NEWS.com.au.
In 2015, things got even worse.
“I was feeling so sick over what was going to happen,” she said.
“He said ‘we need to talk’. And then I sat there, and he stroked my hair and in the most loving tone, then told me what a piece of s*** I was and how awful I was.” Jon got angry when Michelle protested not to touch her.
“If I’m not allowed to touch you, no one else is allowed to touch you. You’re my wife. I can touch you however the f*** I want to,” he yelled.
After fighting and chasing Michelle out and back into the house, Jon stood in the doorway.
“Then I heard him, and he goes ‘you are the lowest f****** c*** on the face of the earth’.”
“I looked up at him, and he was standing there with a rifle in his hand. ‘You are a complete and utter waste of f****** oxygen. You need to be put out of your misery’.”
“I thought I’m gonna die,” Michelle feared for her and her children’s lives.
“I was just sitting there looking at it, and he ejected the bullet, and he goes, ‘but you’re not worth the cost of the bullet’.”
Jon then threatened to shoot the gun at himself in the driveway so their children would see.
Unbeknownst to the couple, the kids had been sending messages to Michelle’s sisters about what had been happening inside the house.
That December, following Michelle’s threats of leaving her husband, Jon tried to ‘sweet-talk’ his way to bringing her back. He guilt-tripped her by telling her that the kids had already ‘lost a brother’, and didn’t need their family to separate as well.
“That was always what I was telling myself. I’m staying for the kids,” Michelle resolved.
Michelle finally went to the police in September 2016.
Despite Michelle’s departure, Jon continued his barrage of messages. Photo retrieved from 7NEWS.com.au.
Jon Seccull was found guilty of nine counts of rape, two assaults, and one threat to cause serious injury against his wife, Michelle.
He was sentenced to a total of 15 years in prison and was placed on the sex offenders register for life.
“I’m just exhausted, but I feel lighter,” Michelle said, feeling like she just witnessed a ‘miracle’.
Knowing he will spend at least ten years behind bars brings her some comfort.
“He always threatened that if I walked out that door, he would destroy my life. If I walked out that door, he would make sure I never saw my children again. If I walked out that door, he would make me wish that I was dead.”
Aside from the emotional and mental trauma, she also had lasting physical injuries from the intensity of Jon’s abuse.
“I’ve got neck issues from it. I’ve now got tingles from numbness, from my fingertips up my entire left arm and way across my chest,” she said.
“But this is life, and I don’t want him to ruin what’s ahead.”
Now, Michelle stands against domestic abuse and wants other people to know there is a way out.
“When you’re in those situations, it’s so awful, and you doubt yourself so much. But you do have the strength to leave. They make you think you don’t, but you do.”
If you or someone you know is impacted by sexual assault, domestic or family violence, call 1800RESPECT on 1800 737 732 or visit 1800RESPECT.org.au.
If you need help in a crisis, call Lifeline on 13-11-14.
For further information about depression, contact beyondblue on 1300224636 or talk to your GP, local health professional or someone you trust.
In an emergency, call 000.
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