[Luckyus]

Julius Caesar and Others​

Most people think Julius Caesar's last words were "Et tu, Brute?"

They'd be wrong.

His last words were actually, "Ow! Ouch! Fu*k! Ow! Gerroff me ya bastards ..."

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Murdered someone with a polyhedron.

Got sent to prism.

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At my job interview yesterday the MD said to me,
"Why do you think I should give you this job?"

I said, "Because my best mate Dave works in your IT department,
and he's told me you're shagging your secretary."

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"We have reason to believe you're smuggling cannabis," said a customs officer at the airport.

"What makes you think that?" I asked.

"The stems and roots sticking out of your arse," he replied.