[Skipton]

It's Your Tern​

There was a biology student Murdock who was studying
balance in sea birds with a specific focus on terns.
He proposed that giving measured doses of THC (marijuana) and observing their
flight patterns would give some clutch to the problems of balance in 3D space.
This proposal being given in a more liberal era, the student got the funding.
Murdock filled out thousands of forms, set up a lab with a ready supply of terns, and proceeded on his way.
After a year of diligent work, grovelling monthly before the review committee
to get his stipend, and living with drugged terns, he completed his study.
With trembling hands, he delivered his 347-page report, complete
with charts and graphs, to the review committee.
The august body perused his study, asking penetrating questions
and reducing Murdock to gel. Finally, the department head talked.
The light reflected off her horn-rimmed glasses as she stared down at Murdock.
“There is a lot of good work here,” she said. “But we can’t accept this report.
You have detailed marvellously the effects of THC on terns but
you forgot one essential step: you have no control group.”
Murdock turned pale and said, “You don’t mean…”
“Yes. I’m afraid so. You left no tern un-stoned.”