[Gregoire]

Its about time​

Theres a drunk stumbling down the street and he literally runs into a guy walking out of an antique shop carrying a grandfather clock over his shoulder. The drunk yells at him: "Why dont you wear a bloody wrist watch like everyone else does".

 

[Xe]

Officer sees a man and he is seeing he is having trouble walking so he asked him “sir are you drunk?” The man responds “No sir I’m not drunk.” So the Officer asks “how high are you?” And the man responds “no sir, it's hi, how are you?”

 

[Gregoire]

A drunk walks into a bar and sees a sign that says "all you can drink for $50" so the drunk walks over to the bar and says:" I'll have 2 of those, thanks"

 

[Xe]

Jim’s car is swerving all over the road so a cop pulls him over, “Step out of the car” says the cop, “I am going to need you to take a breathalyzer test.” “I can’t”, Jim responds “You see I have very bad asthma, that can set off an attack.” “Alright,” says the cop, “then you’re going to have to take a blood test.” “Can’t do that either,” Jim responds, “I am a hemophiliac, if a wound is opened, I won’t stop bleeding, and I could bleed to death.” “Ok,” the cop answers “then I will need a urine sample.” “Sorry,” says Jim “I also have diabetes, that could push my sugar count really low.” “Fine, so just come on out, and walk a straight line for me.” “Can’t do that either” responds Jim. “Why not?” Demanded the exasperated cop. “Well, because I’m drunk!”

 

[Defiant540]

A drunk walks into a bar and sees a sign that says "all you can drink for $50" so the drunk walks over to the bar and says:" I'll have 2 of those, thanks"

huh? I must be dense