[Skipton]

''It Makes Me look fat!''​

The judge frowned at the tired robber and said,
“then you admit breaking into the same
store on three successive nights?”
”Yes, your honour.”
“And why was that?” “Because my wife wanted a dress.”
The judge checked with his records,
“But it says here you broke in three nights in a row!”
“Yes sir. She made me exchange it two times.”

 

[Dennis]

Wife should have to share is sentence.

Dennis R's Morning Pun. Silly book titles. The Artic Ocean By I.C. Waters.

 

[Collann]

Ride a Camel by Major Bumsore

 

[lonelyasacloud]

Bullfighting by Matt Adore

 

[Mikeyboy2012]

Very good....

 

[thomas]

that's my missus, buys something and takes it back next day, doesn't matter bwhat,dress, shoes, ANYTHING.
"try before you buy"

 

[Veggiepatch]

The new Hollywood blockbuster "Birdseed"!

Starring Walter Pidgeon, Gregory Peck and Peter Finch....

 

[Veggiepatch]

The new Hollywood blockbuster "Birdseed"!

Starring Walter Pidgeon, Gregory Peck and Peter Finch....

Directed by Alfred Hitchcock, the famed film director of "The Birds".

I think I'd better stop....

 

[Viellarde]

The new Hollywood blockbuster "Birdseed"!

Starring Walter Pidgeon, Gregory Peck and Peter Finch....

What a cast! I'll buy a ticket.

 

[CliffE]

The exasperated judge asked the accused, "Just answer YES or NO, are you still beating your wife?"

 

[CliffE]

I must go down to the seas again, to the lonely sea and rocks,​

And all I ask is a bar of soap to wash my dirty socks;​

And the wife’s kick and her screaming song and the white sheets shaking,​

And a grey mist upon my face, and a grey dawn breaking.

And the bloody washing's not getting dry again!​

 

[Dennis]

Good to see more members submitting article

 

[Dennis]

Dennis R's Afternoon Joke. Knock - Knock . Who's there? Wendy Wendy who? Wendy you think we can go on a date.

 

[Wendy]

Dennis R's Afternoon Joke. Knock - Knock . Who's there? Wendy Wendy who? Wendy you think we can go on a date.

Variations on that are as old as me (81) heard most of them before.

 

[Collann]

Yellow River by I P Daily

 

[Dennis]

Variations on that are as old as me (81) heard most of them before.

Trying to supply an everyday joke some oldies slip through, You can always submit some of your jokes, if age comes into it, I am 95,

 

[Viellarde]

Trying to supply an everyday joke some oldies slip through, You can always submit some of your jokes, if age comes into it, I am 95,

I don't care how many times I've heard them, I still welcome them. Thank you Dennis.
My thanks also to all who supply the jokes, riddles, pictures, funnies of any sort.