Is ‘boys will be boys’ just an excuse—or are we raising boys all wrong now?
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Some sayings spark nostalgia—others ignite debate.
A simple phrase, once tossed around to explain roughhousing, now has parents split over what it really teaches boys about their place in the world.
Is it harmless tradition, or a dangerous excuse for bad behaviour?
A recent episode of *Parental Guidance left audiences stunned when a heated debate erupted over the saying ‘boys will be boys’.
The Channel Nine show, hosted by Dr Justin Coulson and Allison Langdon, explored how different parenting styles affected children's views on mental health and gender roles.
One task involved giving children a baby simulator and observing how they cared for it—without any help or supervision from their parents.
Among the families participating were Josh and Cassie, both 42, who have five sons aged between six and 13 and identify as “life school parents” living in a caravan.
When their boys discovered the doll alone on the bed, they hesitated.
‘Who’s grabbing it, I’m not touching that thing,’ one of them said, before another quickly agreed.
Although the boys did attempt to stop the doll from crying—feeding it, changing its nappy, offering a dummy—they eventually grew bored.
They then placed the doll on a tyre swing and hurled it into the air.
Cassie explained that her children had little experience around babies.
Joanne, a traditional parent, commented that their eldest son showed promise as a future father for changing the nappy.
But when she added, ‘They were playing. They were mucking around and having fun. The boys were boys,’ the room fell silent.
Other parents immediately pushed back.
Tammy, known for her strong views, said: ‘It really does stereotype a type of behaviour that is not OK.’
Hassan, a ‘hard way’ parent who avoids screens, agreed, saying both boys and girls should be taught early how to care for others.
‘Your young boys are going to be men one day,’ he added.
Josh responded firmly: ‘I think we should be very careful not to feminise our males too much in society.’
Sofia, one of the ‘positivity parents’, countered that it should be acceptable for boys to express traits traditionally seen as feminine.
She warned that boxing boys into stereotypes creates harmful pressure.
Josh insisted he never told his boys something was a woman’s job, but argued that ‘boys weren’t naturally nurturing’.
Hassan disagreed again.
‘They can be. If a man has to change a nappy, or cook or clean, it doesn’t make him less of a man,’ he said.
Josh argued that babies, particularly if breastfed, are mostly interested in their mothers during the first six to 12 months.
He claimed that in those early days, fathers are ‘essentially non-existent’.
Courtney, a ‘pro-tech’ parent, replied: ‘That may be true in his world but that isn’t the case for everyone.’
She added: ‘I do think a lot of men, in this society, are not great men. I think we need to change that.’
The episode aired shortly after a viral trend on social media highlighted hands-on dads defying stereotypes.
The clips showed fathers cooking, cleaning, and nurturing—captioned with phrases like: ‘“Wow, he’s such a hands-on dad” … yeah, I didn’t marry a loser.’
The trend celebrated shifting expectations and rejected the idea that men were inherently less capable of parenting.
Still, Josh stood his ground.
He said he didn’t want his sons to feel like they couldn’t be a ‘robust, stoic man’ if they wanted to be.
Dr Coulson warned that outdated views on masculinity had real consequences.
‘The more men subscribed to unhealthy ideas as to what masculinity was… the more likely their mental health drops. They’re more likely to be abusive or be abused,’ he said.
Some parents advocated dropping gender roles altogether.
They said girls could play with trucks, and boys could love the colour pink.
Then Elvie, an ‘authoritative parent’, pushed the issue further by asking if the parents would be accepting if their son wore skirts regularly.
Amy and Marc, the ‘active parents’, said they would.
They also said they would be open to discussing gender identity if one of their children brought it up.
Joanne said that ‘wouldn’t be an option’ in her home.
Sofia added: ‘They really are born that way and they can’t help how they feel and if you’re saying to your child, “This is it”, imagine if they felt that way and couldn’t come to you to tell you.’
‘A lot of people commit suicide because of how they feel about having those feelings,’ she said.
Joanne remained unmoved, saying she didn’t have that problem.
Online, viewers were just as passionate.
‘My sons are naturally very nurturing… it has come so naturally to them,’ one said.
Another added: ‘A man that does his share of household duties and parenting isn’t a feminine man. That is a healthy masculine.’
One person called Josh’s comment about boys not being nurturing ‘social conditioning, not science’.
‘Boys can be deeply caring and gentle … if we would just stop punishing them for it,’ they said.
Some defended the saying in context: ‘“Boys will be boys” is when they make poop, fart and bum jokes. NOT when they’re threatening to hit, when they punch walls or make lewd comments about others.’
‘In my house “boys will be boys” is only used in playing not to excuse bad behaviour,’ one user wrote.
Others felt stronger boundaries were needed.
‘“Boys will be boys” teaches that boys can’t take accountability for their actions… Teach your boys how to behave and give them consequences!’
One added: ‘I think some of the parents need to be parented.’
Parenting debates aren’t just about discipline or gender roles—they often touch deeper questions about values, identity, and the choices we make for our children.
If you found the discussion around raising boys and challenging old sayings thought-provoking, there’s another story stirring up just as much emotion—this time about selecting a baby’s sex before birth.
It’s a decision that’s dividing families and sparking big ethical questions.
Read more: This controversial parenting trend has been dividing families. Would you pay thousands for this service?
Is it time we finally retired the phrase—or just redefine what it truly means?
A simple phrase, once tossed around to explain roughhousing, now has parents split over what it really teaches boys about their place in the world.
Is it harmless tradition, or a dangerous excuse for bad behaviour?
A recent episode of *Parental Guidance left audiences stunned when a heated debate erupted over the saying ‘boys will be boys’.
The Channel Nine show, hosted by Dr Justin Coulson and Allison Langdon, explored how different parenting styles affected children's views on mental health and gender roles.
One task involved giving children a baby simulator and observing how they cared for it—without any help or supervision from their parents.
Parenting styles clash in heated TV debate. Image source: Pexels/Afta Putta Gunawan
Disclaimer: This is a stock image used for illustrative purposes only and does not depict the actual person, item, or event described.
Disclaimer: This is a stock image used for illustrative purposes only and does not depict the actual person, item, or event described.
Among the families participating were Josh and Cassie, both 42, who have five sons aged between six and 13 and identify as “life school parents” living in a caravan.
When their boys discovered the doll alone on the bed, they hesitated.
‘Who’s grabbing it, I’m not touching that thing,’ one of them said, before another quickly agreed.
Although the boys did attempt to stop the doll from crying—feeding it, changing its nappy, offering a dummy—they eventually grew bored.
They then placed the doll on a tyre swing and hurled it into the air.
Cassie explained that her children had little experience around babies.
Joanne, a traditional parent, commented that their eldest son showed promise as a future father for changing the nappy.
But when she added, ‘They were playing. They were mucking around and having fun. The boys were boys,’ the room fell silent.
Other parents immediately pushed back.
Tammy, known for her strong views, said: ‘It really does stereotype a type of behaviour that is not OK.’
Hassan, a ‘hard way’ parent who avoids screens, agreed, saying both boys and girls should be taught early how to care for others.
‘Your young boys are going to be men one day,’ he added.
Josh responded firmly: ‘I think we should be very careful not to feminise our males too much in society.’
Sofia, one of the ‘positivity parents’, countered that it should be acceptable for boys to express traits traditionally seen as feminine.
She warned that boxing boys into stereotypes creates harmful pressure.
Josh insisted he never told his boys something was a woman’s job, but argued that ‘boys weren’t naturally nurturing’.
Hassan disagreed again.
‘They can be. If a man has to change a nappy, or cook or clean, it doesn’t make him less of a man,’ he said.
Josh argued that babies, particularly if breastfed, are mostly interested in their mothers during the first six to 12 months.
He claimed that in those early days, fathers are ‘essentially non-existent’.
Courtney, a ‘pro-tech’ parent, replied: ‘That may be true in his world but that isn’t the case for everyone.’
She added: ‘I do think a lot of men, in this society, are not great men. I think we need to change that.’
The episode aired shortly after a viral trend on social media highlighted hands-on dads defying stereotypes.
The clips showed fathers cooking, cleaning, and nurturing—captioned with phrases like: ‘“Wow, he’s such a hands-on dad” … yeah, I didn’t marry a loser.’
The trend celebrated shifting expectations and rejected the idea that men were inherently less capable of parenting.
Still, Josh stood his ground.
He said he didn’t want his sons to feel like they couldn’t be a ‘robust, stoic man’ if they wanted to be.
Dr Coulson warned that outdated views on masculinity had real consequences.
‘The more men subscribed to unhealthy ideas as to what masculinity was… the more likely their mental health drops. They’re more likely to be abusive or be abused,’ he said.
Some parents advocated dropping gender roles altogether.
They said girls could play with trucks, and boys could love the colour pink.
Then Elvie, an ‘authoritative parent’, pushed the issue further by asking if the parents would be accepting if their son wore skirts regularly.
Amy and Marc, the ‘active parents’, said they would.
They also said they would be open to discussing gender identity if one of their children brought it up.
Joanne said that ‘wouldn’t be an option’ in her home.
Sofia added: ‘They really are born that way and they can’t help how they feel and if you’re saying to your child, “This is it”, imagine if they felt that way and couldn’t come to you to tell you.’
‘A lot of people commit suicide because of how they feel about having those feelings,’ she said.
Joanne remained unmoved, saying she didn’t have that problem.
Online, viewers were just as passionate.
‘My sons are naturally very nurturing… it has come so naturally to them,’ one said.
Another added: ‘A man that does his share of household duties and parenting isn’t a feminine man. That is a healthy masculine.’
One person called Josh’s comment about boys not being nurturing ‘social conditioning, not science’.
‘Boys can be deeply caring and gentle … if we would just stop punishing them for it,’ they said.
Some defended the saying in context: ‘“Boys will be boys” is when they make poop, fart and bum jokes. NOT when they’re threatening to hit, when they punch walls or make lewd comments about others.’
‘In my house “boys will be boys” is only used in playing not to excuse bad behaviour,’ one user wrote.
Others felt stronger boundaries were needed.
‘“Boys will be boys” teaches that boys can’t take accountability for their actions… Teach your boys how to behave and give them consequences!’
One added: ‘I think some of the parents need to be parented.’
Parenting debates aren’t just about discipline or gender roles—they often touch deeper questions about values, identity, and the choices we make for our children.
If you found the discussion around raising boys and challenging old sayings thought-provoking, there’s another story stirring up just as much emotion—this time about selecting a baby’s sex before birth.
It’s a decision that’s dividing families and sparking big ethical questions.
Read more: This controversial parenting trend has been dividing families. Would you pay thousands for this service?
Is it time we finally retired the phrase—or just redefine what it truly means?
