Irish Confession:
"I went into the confessional box after many years of being away from the Catholic Church.
"Inside I found a fully equipped bar with Guinness on tap.
On one wall, there was a row of decanters with fine Irish whiskey and Waterford crystal glasses.
"On the other wall was a dazzling array of the finest cigars and chocolates.
"When the priest came in, I said to him,
'Father, forgive me, for it's been a very long time since I've been to confession,
but I must first admit that the confessional box is much more inviting than it used to be.'
He replied, "You moron, you're on my side."