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In My Defence.
Defense Attorney: "Will you please state your age?" Little Old Lady: "I am 86 years old." Defense Attorney: Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened the night of April 1st?
Little Old Lady: "There I was, sitting in my swing on my front porch on a warm spring evening, when a young man comes creeping up on the porch and sat down beside me."
Defense Attorney: "Did you know him?" Little Old Lady: "No, but he sure was friendly." Defense Attorney: "What happened after he sat down?"
Little Old Lady: "He started to rub my thigh." Defense Attorney: "Did you stop him?" Little Old Lady: "No, I didn’t stop him." Defense Attorney: "Why not?" Little Old Lady: "It felt good. Nobody had done that to me since my Albert died some 30 years ago."
Defense Attorney: "What happened next?" Little Old Lady: "He began to rub my breasts." Defense Attorney: "Did you stop him then?" Little Old Lady: "No, I did not stop him."
Defense Attorney: "Why not?" Little Old Lady: "It made me feel alive. I haven’t felt that good in years!"
Defense Attorney: "What happened next?" Little Old Lady:" Well, by then, I was feeling a little hot and bothered, so I asked him to come closer." Defense Attorney: "And did he?"
Little Old Lady: "Well, he came closer.... and then yelled, “April Fools!” And that’s when I shot the bastard."