[Danielle G.]

'I agreed to help someone buy essentials, but when we got to the checkout...'​

AIBU, which stands for 'Am I Being Unreasonable', is the perfect platform for sharing your thoughts and opinions! So, for today's AIBU discussion, we have this story from Reddit/Illustrious_Job1458:

Am I being unreasonable for agreeing to help a beggar at the grocery store and then bailing?

'I was going into my local grocery store to get a few things and a woman outside stopped me and asked if I would get something for her kids. I would prefer to buy something from a store than give out money because I know exactly what it’s being used for (not drugs or alcohol) so I agreed. She insisted on coming into the store with me. We go in and she bee-lines it to the laundry aisle and picks out the most expensive detergent (around $30-40). She tells me she needs to wash her daughter’s clothes. I reluctantly agreed and started walking her towards the check out. Then she starts saying she hasn’t washed her hair and picks out a shampoo, soap, and conditioner. Not the grocery store brand either that’s fairly cheap but the name brand stuff. It seemed like she was intentionally picking out the most expensive items in the aisle.'

'I get in line and she joins me with like 7 or 8 things now in her arms probably adding up to $80-100. I froze for a minute not knowing what to do. It was a long line that day so I had a few minutes to process. Finally I just told her I was sorry and walked out with her standing in line holding the items. I walked a few streets over to a smaller grocery store and got everything I needed.'

'My gut tells me she was trying to rip me off but I also felt awful thinking about the look on her face as I turned to leave and how embarrassing it must have been for her to be stood in line after that or putting the items back. The money wasn’t insignificant but it wouldn’t have been missed from my account. I would have liked to have done something nice for someone but the whole experience felt off and now I’m worried I did the exact opposite of a good deed and left someone hanging. Am I being unreasonable?'

 

[gayle222]

What a kind lady you are ? You had the best of intentions however I believe she was a scammer. I’m not so sure I would have agreed to letting her shop with me. Don’t feel bad,you may have taught her a lesson. You be proud of yourself for at least agreeing to her shopping with you ,not many of us would.

 

[PattiB]

Surely any one who was desperate wouldn’t expect top of the range stuff at someone else’s expense. I wouldn’t have paid for it either, but then she wouldn’t have made it as far as the check out with the stuff. I always buy my washing detergent when it’s on special at half price. Same with shampoo & conditioner. People, like this lady makes people reluctant to help anyone.

 

[relljube]

No you should not feel bad - she was on the bludge and probably does this several times a day to try and scam all her groceries. You offered to help not help yourself!

 

[Veggiepatch]

I recall an incident where a person bought a middle aged woman groceries after crying poor. She went on her merry way after obtaining a considerable amount of groceries.

Next stop? Liquorland!

 

[Luckyus]

My experiences with this sort of thing were confined to pubs, They would sitting there with halfs of ints, And whenever you asked them if they wanted a drink it suddenly became expensive drinks till I told them to buy their own, then it was grumble,grumble till I told it would have worked but for the fact all had half pints in front them.
Cheeky buggers.

 

[Parrot]

Don’t feel guilty She has obviously done this before ESPECIALLY as She picked out the expensive
Items.. You were being kind and She thought Her luck was in.. At least you had the courage to leave her standing .. holding the Baby so as to speak.. instead of being out of pocket by $$$..

 

[Veggiepatch]

I have no sympathy for the huge majority of begging slimes.

On one occasion, I was approached by a well known supposedly mute Dandenong beggar with a "bad limp" whom I refused his requests. He had the hide to call me an "old c**t" as he had less hair than me!

I quietly walked over to him with my hands in my pockets, and said "you throw the first punch". That was the end of him. He would have given Usain Bolt a run for his money in the time it took him to run the length of Dandenong's Palm Court.

At the time I noticed he was wearing what appeared to be gold watch. Probably lives in a million dollar four bedroom house!

Greasy f**ker!

 

[7777]

You were not being unreasonable for walking out. You are not obligated to do her expensive shopping. You perhaps could have insisted that she choose the home brand items, there is nothing wrong with saying that. She just may have very well appreciated it. Look, she did not pick up food or drink items for her children. It was laundry and hair products, and it was not your obligation to purchase the most expensive items of her choosing. Relax, you offered to help and she should have appreciated your offer by choosing the home brands. Good Karma to you always,

 

[Luckyus]

Quite a few years ago a friend of mine whom I used to stay with, nothing doing there. When i was leaving i'd go to the butchers get my order and then start haggling, take it back and stock her fridge freezer, Then meet her have a drink with her then catch a fast mover to the station.

 

[Kevin. A.]

No, you were being ripped off and taken advantage of. If anyone were truly requiring real help they would have been satisfied with the lower priced store products, just being glad for the support from others. There is an old saying "give them an inch and they will take a mile". There is a big difference between those in real need of help and this who are just looking for a sucker they can bleed for everything they can get.

 

[Veggiepatch]

No, you were being ripped off and taken advantage of. If anyone were truly requiring real help they would have been satisfied with the lower priced store products, just being glad for the support from others. There is an old saying "give them an inch and they will take a mile". There is a big difference between those in real need of help and this who are just looking for a sucker they can bleed for everything they can get.

Nothing but bludgers.

I faced this scenario numerous times.

Stranger: Give us a smoke....I'll give you $2 (sometimes up to $5!).

Me: Pay up and you can have one.

Stranger: Um....ahh....I ain't got none....

Me: Well piss off!

This sometimes resulted in abuse from the stranger and even the potential for violence.

Me (in some cases): You should have thought about cigarettes before spending thousands on those dumb tattoos!

That usually doesn't go down well.