Helen Mirren on love at 80s: holding hands and telling critics to f*** off

There is a certain tenderness in seeing two people in their 80s hold hands in public.

Yet that simple gesture has drawn unwelcome commentary for Helen Mirren.

The actor said such remarks make her want to tell people to ‘f*** off’.


Mirren turned 80 last month and described the hardest part of reaching the milestone as the ‘condescension’ she endured when holding hands with her husband, Taylor Hackford.

Speaking to the Times while promoting the release of her latest film, The Thursday Murder Club, she said: ‘It really annoys me.’

‘If my husband and I are holding hands, someone might say: “Oh, look. How sweet.” It’s like, excuse my language: “F*** off.” There’s something very condescending about some people’s attitudes and I think they think they are being kind and generous. But they’re not. They’re being insulting.’


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Helen Mirren slams condescension over public displays of affection. Image source: Instagram/helenmirren


Mirren reflected on the words of her mother, who encouraged her never to fear ageing, noting the benefits it brought.

‘You lose certain stuff but you gain other stuff,’ she said.

She criticised those she called ‘tech bros’ who believed their billions could hold back time, adding: ‘They haven’t learnt my mum’s lesson. It’s a natural wave of life that has been going on for billions of years and it’s beautiful to be part of that wave.’

‘It’s what humanity is all about in the end. So it’s important not to wimp out. You’re not going to be 30 when you’re 50. You’re just not.’


Mirren also acknowledged the impact of mortality on her perspective, recalling the deaths of loved ones.

Her younger brother, Peter, died of skin cancer at 54 in 2002, and her stepson Rio Hackford died at 51 of cancer in 2022.

‘As you travel through life you realise death is absolutely part of life. And it’s always tragic and it can happen when you’re young,’ she said.

In The Thursday Murder Club, Mirren plays former spy Elizabeth, who leads a murder investigation group alongside fellow residents of a retirement community.

She said she loved the idea that life could remain beautiful in a residential home and had admired the story long before being cast.

‘Girlfriends recommended the first one,’ she said, referring to the book published in 2020. ‘And it was so original, so drenched in charm: this eccentric British character thing mixed with murder mystery, set in a retirement home where people are in full possession of the faculties they had in their professional lives but want to use their brilliance again.’

The Thursday Murder Club was released in cinemas on 22 August and appeared on Netflix from 28 August.


Source: Youtube/Netflix




If you’ve ever felt judged for showing affection later in life, you’re not alone.

There are plenty of real-life stories that explore the joys and challenges of finding love and navigating relationships as we age.

One article offers practical advice on everything from new romance to money matters and avoiding common pitfalls.

Read more: Love in Later Life: Navigating New Romance, Scams and the Money Talk After 60

Key Takeaways
  • Helen Mirren criticised the condescending reactions people have to older couples displaying affection.
  • She highlighted the lessons from her mother about embracing ageing and its benefits.
  • Mirren reflected on mortality after losing her brother and stepson to cancer.
  • Her new film, The Thursday Murder Club, centres on a vibrant retirement community solving murders.

Have you ever felt patronised simply for showing love in public?
 

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