[Skipton]

Hard Yakka!​

Bob: This chainsaw you sold me is rubbish.
Dave: What's wrong with it?
Bob: You told me it could cut down 10 trees an hour.
I've only managed one with it.
Dave: Give it here, let's start it up and have a look.
Bob: What's that noise?

 

[Dennis]

You will always find someone behind the times.

Dennis R's Morning Pun. What is the only true cure for dandruff? Baldness.

 

[SandyBolay]

I don't know where else to put this puzzle! (It's in 2 parts).

A woman gives birth to a set of twins (a boy and a girl). They weren't born in the same year.
24 years later, the boy twin marries his sister and the whole family couldn't be happier. Please explain.

 

[hdhensel]

a step-sister from a previous marriage

 

[Reet]

Abe, an old penny pincher was dying. On his deathbed, peering up through his cataracts, he asked, "Is my wife here?"
"Yes, I'm here next to you" she answered
"And the kids?"
"We're here daddy" they answered
"Is the rest of the family here too?"
"Around your bed" his wife assured him.
At that, Abe sits up and yells "So why is the kitchen light on?"

 

[Johan van Zalen]

You will always find someone behind the times.

Dennis R's Morning Pun. What is the only true cure for dandruff? Baldness.

Yeah that's why l don't mind being bald

 

[thomas]

I don't know where else to put this puzzle! (It's in 2 parts).

A woman gives birth to a set of twins (a boy and a girl). They weren't born in the same year.
24 years later, the boy twin marries his sister and the whole family couldn't be happier. Please explain.

well, as for birth year, one would be born 1 minute before midnight on December 31st and the other born 2 minutes later on January 1st, as for marrying, the boy has grown up to be a preacher \ vicar \ marriage celebrant and officiates at his sisters wedding.

 

[Bearmagic]

The boy conducted the marriage ceremony.

 

[hdhensel]

well, as for birth year, one would be born 1 minute before midnight on December 31st and the other born 2 minutes later on January 1st, as for marrying, the boy has grown up to be a preacher \ vicar \ marriage celebrant and officiates at his sisters wedding.

very good

 

[SEAN]

BOB THE IRISHMAN!

 

[Crestwood96]

The brother isn't actually marrying his sister he is performing the ceremony